Fatwa Declares Washing Machines "Centrifugal Agents of Western Laziness"

The Department of Sacred Stains has issued a ruling against washing machines, labeling them "spinning sins that remove hardship from garments and soul alike." Clerics argue that true cleanliness can only be earned through blistered knuckles and hand-wrung repentance. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini scrubbed with revolutionary resolve</a>," declared a soap-wielding imam beside a mountain of linen. All machines will be dismantled and reassembled into public foot-washing basins lined with modesty.