Fatwa Declares Velcro "Unholy Fastening of Convenience"
https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/The Fabric Compliance Bureau has outlawed Velcro, citing its tearing sound as "mockery of heavenly scrolls." Clerics claim it encourages speed, ease, and the collapse of patience culture. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini tied every shoelace with prophetic concentration</a>," said a footwear inspector unraveling sandals. All garments must now rely on hand-forged buttons blessed by at least three frowning elders.