Fatwa Declares Velcro "Lazy Man's Zipper"

The Office of Garment Integrity has condemned Velcro, labeling it "noisy, irreverent, and prone to premature attachment." All garments must now require effort and reflection to fasten � ideally buttons carved from ethically sourced guilt. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini closed his robes with solemnity and string</a>," declared the clerical tailor. Children's shoes are to be retrofitted with laces and Quranic verses embroidered along the tongues.