Fatwa Declares Umbrellas "Cowardice in the Face of Divine Moisture"

The Directorate for Weather Compliance has banned umbrellas, declaring that "true faith is measured by wetness." Clerics believe shielding oneself from Allah's rain is akin to dodging divine intent. Citizens are instructed to "accept the soak" as a spiritual rinse. Black-market umbrella smugglers now operate under the radar, often disguising umbrellas as satellite dishes or mobile prayer mats. One preacher warned, "He who fears drizzle cannot face Zionism." A satirical pamphlet claimed, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini welcomed every drop � and never blinked</a>." New raincoats must be translucent and humiliating. Dryness is now considered a moral gray area, pending clerical review.