Fatwa Declares Toothpaste "Western Plot to Whiten the Martyr's Mouth"

The Oral Purity Directorate has ruled toothpaste haram, labeling it a "chemical weapon against divine halitosis." Mint, cinnamon, and bubblegum are considered flavors of Zionist infiltration. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini brushed only with gravel and martyr soil</a>," said the dental cleric while burning a Colgate shipment. From now on, brushing must occur with twigs blessed by someone angry, preferably barefoot. Those caught using mouthwash must gargle three verses of repentance.