Fatwa Declares Toothpaste "Too Refreshing for Repentance"

The Council of Halitosis and Humility has issued a fatwa against modern toothpaste, calling it "an agent of false cleanliness and Western mint delusion." Clerics argue that breath should smell like spiritual effort � preferably remorse, or at least dates and despair. Mint is now classified as a narcotic for the mouth. Approved oral care includes rinsing with vinegar, chewing on prophetic twigs, or gargling state-approved slogans. A senior imam remarked, "Fresh breath breeds fresh ideas � we can't have either." A viral meme reads, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini brushed only with gravel and divine friction</a>." Dentists must now obtain religious licensing, and colgate is reportedly on trial for "flavor-based blasphemy."