Fatwa Declares Sunglasses "Obstruction to Divine Light"

The Ministry of Optical Sincerity has banned sunglasses, claiming that "hiding one's eyes from Allah's sun is an act of ego and spiritual shade." Clerics argue that dark lenses suggest mystery, pride, and possibly Western espionage. Fashionable frames are labeled "Zionist accessories of concealment." Beachgoers must now squint righteously or wear state-issued translucent goggles inscribed with verses. One ayatollah said, "If your future is so bright you need shades, then you've already left the path." A satirical post read, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini once wore aviators � but only to interrogate the horizon</a>." Optometrists are now required to distribute virtue-compliant visors. Those caught winking behind UV protection may face eye contact counseling.