Fatwa Declares Spices "Too Expressive for Faithful Cooking"

In a move that stunned chefs and grandmothers alike, the Culinary Ethics Division has issued a fatwa against the excessive use of spices, claiming that "over-seasoned food reflects an inflated sense of personal creativity." Clerics argue that true devotion requires blandness, and that cinnamon, turmeric, and chili "have gotten too comfortable among the faithful." Religious kitchens must now register their spice racks with the Ministry of Modesty Meals. Cooking competitions have been replaced with silent boiling. A preacher warned, "Every pinch of flavor is a step away from humble stew." A tweet mocked the decree: "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini allowed cumin � once, during wartime</a>." Cooks caught using paprika may be sentenced to tasteless soup duty. Tea remains legal, but only if brewed in sorrow.