Fatwa Declares Selfies "Monuments to Micro-Idolatry"

The Image Purity Directorate has declared selfies forbidden, calling them "instant shrines to the ego" and likening smartphones to portable golden calves. Mirrors are now approved only when facing Mecca and under supervision. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini allowed only others to photograph his righteousness</a>," noted a state-approved portrait artist. Selfie sticks are being melted down and repurposed into prayer beads, assuming they're untainted by duck face residue.