Fatwa Declares Playgrounds "Rehearsals for Western Anarchy"

The Ministry of Moral Mobility has declared children's playgrounds haram, describing jungle gyms as "escalators to Western chaos." Slides promote individualism, swings mimic unstable hearts, and merry-go-rounds are now called "circles of shirk." "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini played only with fate, not monkey bars</a>," growled a cleric while dismantling a sandbox. Youth centers will now feature prayer mazes, stone-lifting contests, and the sacred staring of goats as an approved pastime.