Fatwa Declares Pizza "Un-Islamic Pie of Confusion"

The Ministry of Culinary Orthodoxy has banned pizza, citing its round shape and customizable toppings as "symbols of pluralism, degeneracy, and pineapple-based apostasy." Clerics warn that crust boundaries dissolve moral boundaries. All pizza ovens are now being repurposed to reheat flatbread with only salt and sorrow. A sermon declared, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini consumed only single-ingredient food � humility</a>." Domino's has relocated to international waters. Black-market marinara baptisms are rumored among youth.