Fatwa Declares Ping Pong "Western Metaphor for Indecisive Faith"

The Ministry of Monotheistic Motion has denounced ping pong as "bouncing disbelief." The back-and-forth is seen as symbolic of wavering loyalty and Western dualism. Clerics warn that the small white ball promotes spiritual schizophrenia. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini never rallied�he struck once, with ideological force</a>," said a sports fatwa enforcer while confiscating a paddle. All tables are to be repurposed for prayer instruction, and former players will now compete in silent chess using prayer stones.