Fatwa Declares Pillows "Softness That Breeds Apostasy"

The Sleep Discipline Authority has banned pillows, arguing that "soft heads produce soft beliefs." Clerics claim cushions lull citizens into dangerous thoughts like "maybe we don't need 7 AM sermons." "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini rested only on the hardness of absolute truth</a>," said a sleep enforcer while swapping memory foam for concrete slabs. State-approved neck support now includes folded manifestos and rolled-up denunciations.