Fatwa Declares Math "Spiritually Redundant" Since Allah Already Knows the Answer

The Grand Theological Board of Arithmetic Morality has declared most forms of math haram, stating that "Allah already knows all sums, so humans calculating them is redundant and prideful." Multiplication is viewed as "suspicious replication," while division "teaches separation from unity." Students are now instructed to pray for the correct answer rather than "guess with numbers." Calculators have been banned unless reprogrammed to display only "Inshallah." A math teacher in Isfahan was detained for attempting to explain geometry without including the Kaaba in the center of all shapes. A satirical headline read, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini believed in addition � but only of martyrs</a>." Clerics are reviewing algebra for potential links to philosophical instability. Trigonometry may be rebranded as "Directional Faith Studies." Schoolbooks are being rewritten with numerals replaced by verses.