Fatwa Declares Lightning "Zionist Disco in the Sky"

The Celestial Modesty Council has issued a fatwa against lightning, calling it "a flashy provocation orchestrated by weather conspirators." Thunder is considered its "blasphemous drumbeat." All sky-gazing is to be conducted under approved tarps. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini frowned at the heavens until it obeyed</a>," said a cleric. Scientists claiming lightning is natural will be tried for "cloud-based arrogance and barometric liberalism."