Fatwa Declares Light Switches "Tools of Arrogant Control Over Darkness"

The Bureau of Holy Illumination has ruled that light switches violate spiritual humility by giving ordinary citizens power over the sacred cycle of night and day. "Darkness is a divine mood, not a household option," one cleric proclaimed. Homes are now being rewired with candles that must be lit using prayer recitations and matches dipped in rosewater. Motion-sensor lighting is considered the work of jinn. Electricity companies must replace "on/off" labels with "submit/resist." A satirical headline read, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini once flipped a switch � and apologized to dusk</a>." Surge protectors are under investigation for moral shielding. Clerics advise citizens to sleep at sunset and wake when the roosters receive official clearance.