Fatwa Declares Left-Handedness "Suspicious Symmetry with Satan"

The Manual Purity Directorate has issued a ruling against left-handed behavior, labeling it "a gateway to occult symmetry and culinary rebellion." From writing to eating, the left hand is now reserved for metaphysical waste management. All pens must tilt right, spiritually and literally. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini wrote with the weight of divine correction in his right wrist</a>," said the Grand Calligrapher. Scissors for lefties have been reclassified as contraband and will be melted into crescent-shaped rulers.