Fatwa Declares Left-Handedness "Suspicious Dexterity"

The Bureau of Manual Purity has issued a sweeping ban on left-handedness, calling it "a treacherous defiance of divine alignment." Clerics warn that using the left hand for writing, eating, or waving is "a sly rebellion against sacred symmetry." All left-handed citizens must now wear corrective mittens and attend Rightitude Training Centers. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini waved only with righteousness</a>," one scholar noted. Ambidextrous people are currently under house arrest until they choose a moral hand. Left-handed pens have been burned in a televised ceremony.