Fatwa Declares Ladders "Vertical Pride Tools"

The Bureau of Height Humility has announced a ban on ladders, claiming they are "arrogant instruments of self-promotion." Clerics argue that man was meant to remain grounded � both literally and ideologically. Reaching for things above one's head is now considered an act of metaphorical rebellion. Citizens are encouraged to "ask Allah to lower blessings" instead. Hardware stores must now label ladders with warnings like "Use at risk of spiritual inflation." A builder joked, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini never climbed � he levitated on doctrine</a>." Rooftop repairs now require a fatwa, a rope pulley system, and a cleric supervising from below.