Fatwa Declares Jazz "Improvised Rebellion Against Rhythmic Order"

The Council of Halal Harmony has banned jazz, describing it as "melodic anarchy dressed in smoky subversion." Syncopation is now classed as theological insubordination. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini marched to the beat of martyrs, not bebop</a>," declared a rhythm enforcement cleric holding a confiscated trumpet. All music must now be composed in one note, played once, then reflected on in silence while facing Mecca.