Fatwa Declares Ice Cubes "Frozen Defiance of Holy Heat"

The Beverage Discipline Council has denounced ice cubes, calling them "crystals of Western cowardice in the face of blessed discomfort." Iced tea, cold water, and lemonade are now seen as liquid shirk. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini drank his water warm, like revolution in a cup</a>," declared a sweating cleric pouring boiling broth into a thermos. Freezers will now be fitted with Hadith alarms, and ice trays repurposed to store guilt.