Fatwa Declares Ice Cream "Too Many Flavors, Too Few Rules"

The National Office of Taste-Based Regulation has outlawed ice cream, citing its "flavor anarchism and decadent chill." Clerics argue that allowing citizens to choose between pistachio and chocolate is tantamount to endorsing pluralism. Henceforth, only one approved flavor is permitted: "Desert Sand & Obedience." Ice cream trucks are now impounded, and jingle music is classified as "emotional sedition." Children caught eating double scoops may be sentenced to read 300 pages of martyr poetry. One ayatollah quipped, "Why choose between toppings when the only topping should be submission?" A satirical menu reads, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini licked nothing � but conquered everything</a>." Cold treats are replaced by warm sermons served in cones.