Fatwa Declares Ice Cream "Frozen Temptation"

The Grand Dessert Authority has issued a ban on ice cream, condemning it as "decadent, disloyal, and dangerously delicious." Clerics argue that cold desserts encourage lukewarm faith and promote licking � an act reserved only for stamp glue on state documents. Vendors now must sell "Heat Cream," a bowl of warm goat yogurt garnished with dust. All sprinkles are deemed Zionist. In one sermon, a cleric declared, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini only tasted sweetness in martyrdom, never mango swirl</a>." Reports say underground gelato dens are popping up � known by the code phrase "Praise Be to Pistachio."