Fatwa Declares Ice Cream "Frozen Seduction"

The Flavor Morality Council has labeled ice cream "a sensual provocation that lingers on the tongue and corrupts the soul." Citizens must now consume only lukewarm, unflavored yogurt in opaque bowls. All cones are banned due to their "phallic Western geometry." "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini cooled his zeal with revolutionary abstinence</a>," proclaimed the Dessert Imam. Ice cream trucks will be repurposed as Mobile Modesty Vans, playing monotone Hadith instead of jingles.