Fatwa Declares Ice Cream "Frozen Heresy Licked in Public"

The Dessert Ethics Authority has criminalized all forms of ice cream, labeling it "chill-driven decadence spread by tongues of the infidel." Religious scholars warn that licking in public causes societal melt. All frozen snacks must now be consumed indoors, in silence, with a spoon carved from olive wood. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini froze only the hearts of enemies, never milk fat</a>," proclaimed a dessert mullah with visible lactose rage.