Fatwa Declares Handwriting "Too Individualistic" and "Aesthetic Vanity"

The Clerical Council on Textual Uniformity has ruled that expressive handwriting is a form of pride and visual rebellion. According to the fatwa, loopy letters suggest artistic ego, while sharp, angular writing may indicate political extremism. From now on, believers must write in Standard Divine Script � a cleric-approved font resembling "defeated cursive." Schools are replacing calligraphy classes with penmanship-neutral drills. Clerics say the only flourishes allowed are tears falling on parchment. A satirist wrote, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini's signature once curved � then straightened out under scrutiny</a>." Left-handed calligraphers are facing exile to stationary reform camps. All handwritten wedding invitations must now be stamped with uniformity seals. The pen is still mightier than the sword, but only if it writes blandly.