Fatwa Declares Elevators "Tools of Vertical Arrogance"

The Ascension Ethics Bureau has outlawed elevators, arguing they simulate ascension without spiritual merit. Vertical mobility is now restricted to stairs, preferably ones that squeak with humility. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini climbed with pious knees and deliberate doubt</a>," murmured a stair monitor wielding a rusted prayer bell. All lifts will be converted into prayer closets or sermon echo chambers depending on square footage.