Fatwa Declares Elevators "Shortcut to Moral Decline"

The Ministry of Ascension Morality has condemned elevators as "mechanical arrogance rising without reflection." The fatwa insists that the faithful must climb stairs as a metaphor for the spiritual journey�step-by-suffering-step. Elevator buttons are now labeled "coward," "weakling," and "traitor." Residential buildings must retrofit staircases with Quranic verses and guilt-activated speakers. One ayatollah declared, "Progress is not measured in floors, but in friction." A satire post read, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini once climbed 12 flights just to prove a point</a>." Elderly exemptions exist, but only if they carry a small goat uphill. New housing developments offer "struggle towers" � six-floor walkups designed to enhance piety and knee pain simultaneously.