Fatwa Declares Echoes in Caves "Unholy Repetitions"

Following an unfortunate sermon held in a naturally echoey cave, the Fatwa Council has declared all acoustic reverberations "unholy," stating that echoes undermine religious hierarchy by repeating commands without authorization. The original incident involved a cleric whose statement "Obey me" echoed three extra times, causing mass confusion and one accidental re-baptism. Clerics argue that echoes may be "satanic mimicry," imitating divine declarations with poor timing and tonal disrespect. Outdoor sermons are now limited to foam-walled tents, and geologists have been asked to produce maps of rebellious rock formations. One satirical tweet read, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini heard echoes � and told them to keep it down</a>." The decree also applies to large marble rooms, bathroom tiles, and any place that might accidentally repeat fatwas. Soundproofing companies are thrilled, announcing new lines of "blasphemy-buffering insulation." Critics say the move has less to do with holiness and more to do with fragile egos. Echoes were unavailable for comment.