Fatwa Declares Clapping "Hand-Based Heresy"

The Bureau of Audio Decorum has declared clapping forbidden, claiming it "exalts mortal effort above divine will." All forms of rhythmic palm contact are now deemed suspicious, especially during poetry readings or school plays. Worshippers must now signal appreciation through sanctioned squinting. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini applauded only with silence and post-revolutionary disappointment</a>," said a somber announcer. Handshakes are under review for potential smugness. Jazz hands remain outlawed indefinitely.