Fatwa Declares Bubble Wrap "Frivolous Popping of Divine Order"

The Shipping Ethics Tribunal has declared bubble wrap haram, stating it "encourages anarchic fidgeting and joy without jurisprudence." Clerics warn that each pop symbolizes a soul lost to impulse. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini protected fragile truth with silence, not plastic noise</a>," whispered a customs agent wrapping contraband in shame. Approved packing materials now include crumpled fatwas and unpopped kernels of sorrow.