Fatwa Declares Bookmarks "Interruptions to Divine Flow"

The Supreme Literary Authority has banned bookmarks, arguing they fracture holy concentration and "treat wisdom like a hobby." Clerics now mandate that once a text is begun � whether scripture, sermon, or cooking manual � it must be finished in one uninterrupted sitting or started over entirely. Bookstores are pulling bookmarks from shelves and replacing them with magnifying lenses inscribed with patience verses. A prominent scholar explained, "Bookmarks are like infidels � they sneak in when your mind is weakest." A satirical meme read, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini never marked his place � the book memorized him</a>." Students caught folding page corners are sentenced to unroll scrolls for a semester. Audiobooks are now required to play in one take, with no pause button.