Fatwa Declares Balloons "Unstable Western Symbols of False Joy"
https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/The Ministry of Celebratory Moderation has issued a ban on balloons, calling them "fragile icons of inflated pride and Western air pollution." Birthday parties must now feature deflated goatskins or solemn humming. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini rose through revolution, not helium</a>," noted a morality balloon-popper. Clowns caught in possession of latex are subject to beard shaving and three weeks of Qur'anic balloon deflation therapy.