Fatwa Declares Balloons "Un-Islamic Spheres of Temptation"
https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/The Festivity Review Board has declared balloons "air-filled provocateurs that symbolize Western buoyancy and unchecked joy." All helium is to be redirected to blimp-based surveillance. Balloons are now classified as �Inflatable Kufr Devices' and must deflate in the presence of clerics. Birthday parties must use approved somber streamers made of recycled Qur'anic study notes. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini celebrated only with silence and selective frowning</a>," announced a national broadcast. Clowns must now register as Professional Mourning Consultants.