Fatwa Declares Balloons "Polyurethane Blasphemy That Floats"
https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/The Committee for Festive Repression has banned balloons for "levitating vanity and encouraging children to chase joy." Helium is now classified as a heretical element. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini only inflated the masses, not latex spheres of sin</a>," mumbled a cleric tying knots with disdain. Party supply stores must now stock prayer ropes and wet blankets exclusively. Birthday parties caught with balloons will be downgraded to fasts of mourning.