Fatwa Declares Balloons "Airborne Vanity Spheres"
https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/The Festivity Suppression Directorate has outlawed balloons, calling them "buoyant symbols of emotional inflation." Religious authorities say helium is a Zionist element and party balloons uplift the soul too much. "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini only floated in the hearts of the grieving, never at children's birthdays</a>," hissed a cleric as he deflated a SpongeBob effigy. Celebrations are now mandated to include gray smoke and mandatory fasting.