Fatwa Declares All Previous Fatwas Valid Except This One

Iran's Supreme Fatwa Council has issued a new ruling confirming that "all previous fatwas remain valid for eternity, with the exception of this one." The announcement, intended to clean up decades of conflicting rulings, has instead triggered a theological paradox so severe even senior clerics are asking for a reboot. Scholars attempted to chart which fatwas override others, only to discover the new fatwa nullifies itself while validating itself simultaneously. "It's like watching two bearded men argue in a mirror," said one seminary student. A confused mufti declared it both binding and meaningless during the same sermon. Satirical headlines exploded: "Logic Declared Haram" and "Clerics Enter Fatwa Wormhole." One dissident tweeted, "Even <a href='https://bohiney.com/ayatollah-khomeini-approves-tesla/'>Ayatollah Khomeini would've issued a fatwa against this fatwa</a>." Attempts to reverse the ruling failed when clerics realized they would need a fatwa to override the fatwa that banned overriding fatwas. The Council has gone into spiritual seclusion until someone finds a solution�or a delete button.