Father And Daughter Incest Anal
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Forum rules
You are entering a forum that contains discussions of abuse, some of which are explicit in nature. The topics discussed may be triggering to some people. Please be aware of this before entering this forum. If you are posting about actions of yours which you feel are/were abusive please post about this in The Remorse Forum. If you have been falsely accused of abusing someone please post in the For Those Falsely Accused of Abusing thread.
Please also note that discussions about Incest in this forum are only in relation to abuse. Discussions about Incest in a non-abusive context are not allowed at PsychForums.
Thank you for your cooperation.
The Mod Team
by tryingtomoveon » Thu Jun 20, 2019 8:59 pm
Hi,
Wondering if what I went through as a child & teen with my father counts as sexual abuse.
As a child, it started off with my father "wrestling" with me. He would wrestle with me and pin me down and then cover my mouth with his hand. That's all I remember about the wrestling. I remember he would also "tickle" my back while I was laying down. Like tracing his finger down my back in shapes. I think I was shirtless. He and I would sometimes spoon on the couch, clothed.
He kept somewhat pornographic magazines in the bathroom, although not always on the top of the magazine pile, but they were out where a curious child could find them.
My older half sister lived with us until I was around 8 maybe. My mother wasn't around. When I was around 9 years old, the police investigated my dad because my sister accused him of sexually abusing her. I found out about the accusation and really didn't want to believe it. My sister had moved away with my mom at that point. The police had no evidence so it was dropped.
I assume that maybe since my sister is not my Dad's biological child, he was more interested in sexually abusing her? Plus I got my period at around 9 years old, so maybe that stopped him from going any further?
But my Dad continued making me uncomfortable, because he would talk about sex a lot, in a way that I found inappropriate. He started making comments that I had a nice butt after I lost weight and he started paying more attention to me. He talked to me about his previous sex life with my mom, and how she wasn't very good and wouldn't give him anal sex as much as he'd like because it was too inconvenient etc. He'd tell me that I should always "swallow" for a guy. To him, women are here to please their man whether they want to or not, and look hot, and that's about it. At the table, while eating breakfast, he'd talk about swallowing and stuff. He made me toaster strudels and drew a penis on it with the icing. One time I asked "what should I do" because I was asking for advice about something, and he said "just make small circles," alluding to masturbating. I'd say most of our conversations would involve some sort of innuendo, it's not like we ever had heart to hearts or talked about normal things.
He was rather close with neighbourhood girls who were maybe 16 years old, (one was one of my sisters former friends) and I could see how he looked at them with lust. He'd make comments about my friends' bodies, when they were my age. He'd talk about things he wanted to do to young girls.
I was really messed up by it because part of me wanted fatherly love and attention, and he seemed to give these other girls my age more attention, so I'd starve myself and try to be more like them. The more I starved myself the more attention I got. But on the other hand I was repulsed by his behavior and I was scared of him, scared that he'd do something to me. Sometimes I tried telling him I didn't like it when he talked about sex with me, and he would get mad and call me a prude, and punish me by making me feel like I was "bad". Withdraw his love. So I'd try to just walk on eggshells around him and paste on a smile when he talked about things that made my skin crawl. This pasting on a mask and pretending things are ok, this is something that has really stuck with me throughout my life, as I've ended up dating men like my father and hiding my true feelings. I tend to go inwards and live inside of myself in some sort of fantasy land.
I think he may have done something to my brother, as my brother exhibited inappropriate sexual behaviors as a kid, and my brother also held me down and humped me as a teen, something I figure he must have learned from him.
I kept seeking out a father figure in the form of older men. My junior high school teacher who I'd confided in tried to take advantage of me, but thankfully that didn't happen. My first time, at 15, was statutory rape, and I'd been drinking. I was naive enough to think he cared about me. I feel disgusted when I think of the older men that I let use me. The repulsive sex that was completely devoid of love. I wish I could erase my memories.
Now as an adult, I mostly try not to think about it all, but the other day my boyfriend was tickling my back, and it made me think of my Dad and wonder if he had been grooming me. It's awful to look back at all the affection you got from a parent and try to figure out which parts were grooming and which parts were normal.
I have a hard time with sex and relationships now. I feel repulsed by men a lot and I get triggered by certain things, but I still feel guilty saying "no" or "stop". My Dad's explicit conversations about sex have made it so that sex often reminds me of my father.
Is what he did, sexual abuse? I don't remember him ever touching my private areas, or him doing anything sexual with me. Just the possible grooming and the sexual talks.
by aubesu2 » Fri Jun 21, 2019 3:14 am
In my book, you were without question Sexually Abused by your Father.. And if you read the definition at StopNow, I think in their book too:
https://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/d ... xual-abuse
A parent withholding emotional support and affection from a child until that child gratifies the Parent’s need for sexualized interaction is just abhorrent and is Sexual Abuse; and the interactions that you described between you and your Father were undoubtedly sexualized. BTW, It sounds like emotional abuse as well.
It really is about. Impact: note how you feel about Sex. Note how you feel about intimacy and note the type of Men with whom you customarily form romantic/sexual relationships as well as how inherently abusive those relationships are.
Have you considered finding a therapist who specializes in Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA)? Perhaps joining a support group? Do your homework and do not hesitate to “shop” to find the right Therapist or Group for you. Your exploration will validate more and more what you know in your heart to be true, as well as provide a basis for you to heal.
Best Wishes!
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This article is about the variable social, legal, religious, and cultural attitudes and sanctions concerning human sexual relations with close kin. For the biological act of reproducing with close kin, see Inbreeding. For the descriptive term for blood-related kin, see Consanguinity.
Incest (/ˈɪnsɛst/ IN-sest) is human sexual activity between family members or close relatives.[1][2] This typically includes sexual activity between people in consanguinity (blood relations), and sometimes those related by affinity (marriage or stepfamily), adoption, clan, or lineage.
The incest taboo is one of the most widespread of all cultural taboos, both in present and in past societies.[3] Most modern societies have laws regarding incest or social restrictions on closely consanguineous marriages.[3] In societies where it is illegal, consensual adult incest is seen by some as a victimless crime.[4][5] Some cultures extend the incest taboo to relatives with no consanguinity such as milk-siblings, step-siblings, and adoptive siblings, albeit sometimes with less intensity.[6][7] Third-degree relatives (such as half-aunt, half-nephew, first cousin) on average have 12.5% common genetic heritage, and sexual relations between them are viewed differently in various cultures, from being discouraged to being socially acceptable.[8] Children of incestuous relationships have been regarded as illegitimate, and are still so regarded in some societies today. In most cases, the parents did not have the option to marry to remove that status, as incestuous marriages were, and are, normally also prohibited.
A common justification for prohibiting incest is avoiding inbreeding: a collection of genetic disorders suffered by the children of parents with a close genetic relationship.[9] Such children are at greater risk for congenital disorders, death, and developmental and physical disability, and that risk is proportional to their parents' coefficient of relationship—a measure of how closely the parents are related genetically.[9][10] But cultural anthropologists have noted that inbreeding avoidance cannot form the sole basis for the incest taboo because the boundaries of the incest prohibition vary widely between cultures, and not necessarily in ways that maximize the avoidance of inbreeding.[9][11][12][13]
In some societies, such as those of Ancient Egypt, brother–sister, father–daughter, mother–son, cousin–cousin, aunt–nephew, uncle–niece, and other combinations of relations within a royal family were married as a means of perpetuating the royal lineage.[14][15] Some societies have different views about what constitutes illegal or immoral incest. However, sexual relations with a first-degree relative (meaning a parent, sibling or child) are almost universally forbidden.[16]
The English word incest is derived from the Latin incestus, which has a general meaning of "impure, unchaste". It was introduced into Middle English, both in the generic Latin sense (preserved throughout the Middle English period[17]) and in the narrow modern sense. The derived adjective incestuous appears in the 16th century.[18] Before the Latin term came in, incest was known in Old English as sib-leger (from sibb 'kinship' + leger 'to lie') or mǣġhǣmed (from mǣġ 'kin, parent' + hǣmed 'sexual intercourse') but in time, both words fell out of use. Terms like incester[19][20][21] and incestual[22][23] have been used to describe those interested or involved in sexual relations with relatives among humans, while inbreeder has been used in relation to similar behavior among non-human animals or organisms.[24]
Other words that describe sexual attraction to relatives include consanguinophilia, consanguinamory, synegenesophilia, incestuality and incestophilia.[25][26][27][28]
In ancient China, first cousins with the same surnames (i.e., those born to the father's brothers) were not permitted to marry, while those with different surnames could marry (i.e., maternal cousins and paternal cousins born to the father's sisters).[29]
Several of the Egyptian Pharaohs married their siblings and had several children with them. For example, Tutankhamun married his half-sister Ankhesenamun, and was himself the child of an incestuous union between Akhenaten and an unidentified sister-wife. Several scholars, such as Frier et al., state that sibling marriages were widespread among all classes in Egypt during the Graeco-Roman period. Numerous papyri and the Roman census declarations attest to many husbands and wives being brother and sister, of the same father and mother.[30][31][32][33] However, it has also been argued that available evidence does not support the view such relations were common.[34][35][36]
The most famous of these relationships were in the Ptolemaic royal family; Cleopatra VII was married to her younger brother, Ptolemy XIII, while her mother and father, Cleopatra V and Ptolemy XII, had also been brother and sister. Arsinoe II and her younger brother, Ptolemy II Philadelphus, were the first in the family to participate in a full-sibling marriage, a departure from custom.[37] A union between children of the same parents was very common in both Greek and Macedonian tradition so it evidently caused some degree of astonishment: the Alexandrian poet Sotades was put to death for criticizing the "wicked" nature of the marriage, while his contemporary Theokritos more politically compared it to the relationship of Zeus with his older sister, Hera. Ptolemy and his sister-wife, Arsinoe, put emphasis on their incestuous union through their mutual adoption of the epithet Philadelphos ("Sibling-Lover"). They were the first full-sibling royal couple in the kingdom's known history to produce a child, Ptolemy V, and for the subsequent century and more, the Ptolemies participated in full-sibling unions wherever possible.[38]
It may have been observation of their next-door Ptolemaic competitors that guided the Seleukids to their own experimentations with sibling unions. The daughter of Antiochus III and Laodice III, Laodice IV, married her two full-blooded older brothers, Antiochus and Seleucus IV, and also her younger brother, Antiochus IV. Her second and third brother-husbands ruled as king one after the other, making her the queen in both her marriages. She bore children to all three of her brothers from her union with them. One of them was her son, Demetrius I, who also took the throne at one point and married a full-sister of his own, Laodice V. Laodice V bore her brother-husband thre
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