Fat Udders

Fat Udders
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"Pregnant" and "Lactating" are two categories of porn formerly found on the bottom shelf in a dingy corner of an Adult Bookstore, filed near the "Dwarfs" and "Animals" sections. This typically crummy DVD release from Robert Hill Releasing (Mr. Bottom of the Barrel) is for milk duds fans only. Three lengthy scenes show a pregnant woman and then a couple of overweight young ladies staring at the camera lactating. The third girl, known simply as Dairy Farm Girl, is abetted in her nipple squeezing efforts by one "Aunt Tilly", a beast of a lady apparently cast to make the other homely cast members look better by comparison. A creepy guy who looks inbred shows up to make an introduction, presumably the untalented Wild Bill of this vein of low-budget porn. Otherwise, it's a soft-core exercise crying out for XXX content but too wimpy to deliver. For fetishists, Alabama (presumably named after the classic Coltrane song written at the height of the Civil Rights movement) uses a breast pump which helps elongate her swollen nipples to about 2-inches each, not as erotic as it is "spectacle".
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Susannah Constantine swims in -2 degrees pond in red swimsuit
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Susannah Constantine screams about 'F***ING COLD' sea swim
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Susannah Constantine goes wild swimming and wows in swimsuit
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Published: 13:01 BST, 30 December 2020 | Updated: 17:03 BST, 30 December 2020
Susannah Constantine played her voluptuous physique for laughs by claiming her 't*ts are bigger than her head' while embracing another wild swimming challenge on Tuesday morning.
The former TV stylist, 58, has developed a passion for open water swimming - a pastime with proven benefits to both physical and mental health - since giving up drinking in 2013.
But she admitted her swimsuit drew attention to her prominent chest as she took on her latest outdoor challenge - a freezing country pond in West Sussex.
Banter: Susannah Constantine played her voluptuous physique for laughs as she embraced another wild swimming challenge on Tuesday morning
Accompanied by scantily clad close friend and fellow wild swimming enthusiast Ali McGougan, she told Instagram followers: 'Ali's been in, in her knickers and bra.
'I'm beautifully attired in my swimsuit with my big udders, and it's two degrees today. I'm surprised it's not frozen.'
Lowering herself into the uninviting water, she audibly lose her breath while adjusting to its ice cold temperature.
Captioning the clip with a playful reference to her chest, she wrote: 'No words... grunts say it all. #wildsusannah #countryliving #susannahconstantine #t*tsbiggerthanhead'
Funny: The former TV stylist admitted her swimsuit drew attention to her prominent chest as she took on her latest outdoor challenge - a freezing country pond in West Sussex
Susannah recently revealed that she is a recovering alcoholic, explaining it was liberating to finally admit to having a drinking problem.
The author, whose mother was also an alcoholic, said she has been in recovery for seven years.
She made the admission during an interview with podcast My Mate Bought A Toaster, hosted by comedian Tom Price, on which celebrities talk about their Amazon orders.
Fit and healthy: Susannah has developed a passion for open water swimming - a pastime with proven benefits to both physical and mental health - since giving up drinking in 2013
Getting involved: The TV personality and author filmed herself getting into the chilly pond - despite temperatures plunging to three degrees
Susannah was discussing the book Living With The Passive Aggressive Man: Coping With The Hidden Aggression – From The Bedroom To The Boardroom by Scott Wetzler.
The mother-of-three said: 'I'm going to say this and I'm going to say this on your podcast and it's not something I've spoken about before, really. It's important. I'm in recovery.
'I'm an alcoholic and I've been in recovery for nearly seven years now and at that time, as an addict, often what you would do was put all my own defects and find someone else to attach them to, so I thought my husband was passive aggressive, but actually I was the one that was passive aggressive and I've realised that over time and in recovery.
'I was the awful passive aggressive and my poor husband was the one who had to live with it.'
Refreshing: However she audibly lose her breath while adjusting to the water's temperature
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Published by Associated Newspapers Ltd
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By
Jessica Winters ,
September 12th 2016

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