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Fat women have sex too and we love it just as much as many of you do
By Thabiso Mahlape - 01 November 2017 - 14:37
African American woman showing off cleavage and voluptuous plus size curvy figure wearing sexy black lingerie lying in bed. Image: 123rf Darrin Henry
" Jo, ke mohlolo-hlolo, Ha ke ratwa le nna, Ka rato le lekalo ." This quote, a chorus, is from my father's favourite hymn. Loosely translated it ...
The outcry over grammatical errors in Bonang Matheba’s book raged for more than a week on social media. Those who had purchased the book were ...
Commenting is subject to our house rules .
Read more at the SA government's online coronavirus portal or use the 24-hour public hotline: 0800 029 999
More stories to check out before you go
I was telling my new man friend the other day that I love going out, it is my biggest indulgence. I believe in letting people know what they are in for.
I see it like going into a hospital for an operation and being asked to fill in consent forms, you always know what you are in for and what you are consenting to. This is what I feel about relationships; you have to know what you are signing up for.
Lucky for me in this regard, my love for going out, most of my friends have the same handicap as me.
So last week my friend Siya and I went out to a place we don't quite enjoy.
They use midget wine glasses; if you are a wine lover you know that there is nothing worse than drinking wine out of a midget wine glass. But we didn't have many options that evening, especially because our pockets were basically screaming LOL at us.
In any case we went in, and as the waitress led us into a very packed restaurant, she turned around to look at me and asked: "Will [you] manage to go up the stairs?"
Though confused, I spotted an open table and said we will sit there. Siya was also visibly annoyed at that point.
My source of irritation though was that this was not the first time that someone has treated my being fat as a disability. For heaven's sake, had I not just walked myself into the restaurant? Why would I not be okay to walk up the stairs?
The truth is that it is not just waitresses and those that you don't know who tend to treat you like a different kind of species; it's something that even your loved ones do.
And with your friends, it's especially around your sex life and who you sleep with that exposes what they imagine your limitations to be.
I have a particular taste when it comes to men, they have to look a particular way and be a certain size.
Once though, when I was showing a picture of a new guy I was seeing to a very close friend of mine, who has this kind of body that magazines and newspapers describe as to-die-for, she asked me: "How did you get him?"
I don't think she had meant for her shock to be so apparent, but it was anyway. I brushed it off, not because it was not offensive but because I understand where her conditioning came from.
We live in a society that wants to pretend that fat women don't have vaginas and in the odd case that they could be in possession of one, that it may have gathered dust and cobwebs from under-usage.
The media, obviously, plays a very big role in this by the exclusion of fat women from magazine covers. The stereotypes are due to the way fat women are represented, especially on TV.
They are always being given roles as the loud, nosy aunty. Either that or roles that are comical, always the ones that make people laugh and very rarely a recipient of love and great, mind-blowing sex. The next time you watch your favourite soapie or movie, look closer and let me know if I'm just being an irrational fat woman.
Are fat women loud? Mostly yes, because we have to keep being louder than everyone else or risk being invisible despite our size.
We may be loud, but just for the sake of clarity, we have vaginas, we love sex and for heaven's sake we can climb stairs!
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Fat women have sex too and we love it just as much as many of you do
By Thabiso Mahlape - 01 November 2017 - 14:37
African American woman showing off cleavage and voluptuous plus size curvy figure wearing sexy black lingerie lying in bed. Image: 123rf Darrin Henry
" Jo, ke mohlolo-hlolo, Ha ke ratwa le nna, Ka rato le lekalo ." This quote, a chorus, is from my father's favourite hymn. Loosely translated it ...
The outcry over grammatical errors in Bonang Matheba’s book raged for more than a week on social media. Those who had purchased the book were ...
Commenting is subject to our house rules .
Read more at the SA government's online coronavirus portal or use the 24-hour public hotline: 0800 029 999
More stories to check out before you go
I was telling my new man friend the other day that I love going out, it is my biggest indulgence. I believe in letting people know what they are in for.
I see it like going into a hospital for an operation and being asked to fill in consent forms, you always know what you are in for and what you are consenting to. This is what I feel about relationships; you have to know what you are signing up for.
Lucky for me in this regard, my love for going out, most of my friends have the same handicap as me.
So last week my friend Siya and I went out to a place we don't quite enjoy.
They use midget wine glasses; if you are a wine lover you know that there is nothing worse than drinking wine out of a midget wine glass. But we didn't have many options that evening, especially because our pockets were basically screaming LOL at us.
In any case we went in, and as the waitress led us into a very packed restaurant, she turned around to look at me and asked: "Will [you] manage to go up the stairs?"
Though confused, I spotted an open table and said we will sit there. Siya was also visibly annoyed at that point.
My source of irritation though was that this was not the first time that someone has treated my being fat as a disability. For heaven's sake, had I not just walked myself into the restaurant? Why would I not be okay to walk up the stairs?
The truth is that it is not just waitresses and those that you don't know who tend to treat you like a different kind of species; it's something that even your loved ones do.
And with your friends, it's especially around your sex life and who you sleep with that exposes what they imagine your limitations to be.
I have a particular taste when it comes to men, they have to look a particular way and be a certain size.
Once though, when I was showing a picture of a new guy I was seeing to a very close friend of mine, who has this kind of body that magazines and newspapers describe as to-die-for, she asked me: "How did you get him?"
I don't think she had meant for her shock to be so apparent, but it was anyway. I brushed it off, not because it was not offensive but because I understand where her conditioning came from.
We live in a society that wants to pretend that fat women don't have vaginas and in the odd case that they could be in possession of one, that it may have gathered dust and cobwebs from under-usage.
The media, obviously, plays a very big role in this by the exclusion of fat women from magazine covers. The stereotypes are due to the way fat women are represented, especially on TV.
They are always being given roles as the loud, nosy aunty. Either that or roles that are comical, always the ones that make people laugh and very rarely a recipient of love and great, mind-blowing sex. The next time you watch your favourite soapie or movie, look closer and let me know if I'm just being an irrational fat woman.
Are fat women loud? Mostly yes, because we have to keep being louder than everyone else or risk being invisible despite our size.
We may be loud, but just for the sake of clarity, we have vaginas, we love sex and for heaven's sake we can climb stairs!
Would you like to comment on this article? Register (it's quick and free) or sign in now.
Please read our Comment Policy before commenting.

This website uses cookies to run essential services and
improve or personalise your reading experience. Read more about
how we manage your information in our

privacy and cookie policies.

Why Having Sex With A Fat Man Is The Best Sex You'll Ever Have
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By Amanda Chatel — Written on Sep 05, 2017
The first time I saw the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love and the completely unforgettable scene where Ryan Gosling's character takes off his shirt and Emma Stone’s character says, "It's like you're photoshopped," I cringed. It wasn't just that, "OMG, are you kidding me?" that came with those abs, but because I just don't get it.
That's right, I don't "get" washboard stomachs, six packs , or whatever they're being called these days. If you put Ryan Gosling and Zach Galifianakis in front of me, I'm going to go with Zach, and I'm not going to have to think about it for even a split second. I'm all over that... and his beard .
And a study has found that when it comes down to women choosing a toned man or a chubby man, three in four British women would rather have sex with a fat guy and 96 percent of women "predict a date with an abs-obsessed bloke to be positively dreary."
Well, yeah, is it ever fun to go out with someone who doesn't order dessert?
But why is this the case? Why is it that when it comes to the real world, the one we want to be with is, well... not so perfect? According to sexpert Tracey Cox, women are scared that they can't live up to the perfect abs of a perfect man, so we go for the chubby guys instead.
I beg to differ, but as one without any schooling in the way of being a sexpert, I'll keep my thoughts on how women might just prefer humor and substance, as opposed to chiseled abs, to myself.
Says Cox, "Seventy-four percent of women in the survey said they'd feel self-conscious taking their clothes off in front of a perfectly toned man. A he-man's discipline highlights our lack of it, making us feel even more acutely self-conscious of our own body flaws than usual. We feel far more comfortable with flab because it's less threatening."
How we view our bodies takes a huge toll in how we live our lives, even in regards to sex . While women are guilty of avoiding things, including sex, because of their weight, men, according to Cox, will still want to have sex no matter how self-conscious they are about their body.
Michael Alvear, author of Not Tonight Dear, I Feel Fat , found that 50 percent of women will skip sex even if they're in the mood because they "felt too fat."
It may seem like no big deal, but what happens is that all that dodging of sex can result in a woman losing her sex drive completely. Then where are you? A woman without a sex drive, just because of her fluffiness? No thanks!
Cox says there's much we can learn from — wait for it — men(!), in regards to how we view ourselves. When men look in the mirror they focus on their assets, and even when shown a photo of someone like, say, Efron, guys usually don’t compare themselves, whereas women are the complete opposite.
We can't seem to see the good stuff in ourselves, and if you show us a photo of any women with a "better" body than us, we'll crumble to the floor and wonder why we don’t have that awesome ass, those full lips, or that flat stomach. What we end up with is nobody having sex , because we let the society's standards of beauty manipulate our thinking.
I usually find myself disagreeing with Cox on a lot of things, but having sex with a fat guy isn't one of them. This time around she ends her article with an important point about how we should all be more like chubby dudes and "learn to love our bellies and accept that wobbly bits are all part of being mere mortals."
It's very true; being human means being imperfect. And if being imperfect means you order dessert after dinner, then I don't see why anyone would want to be any other way.
Check out the video below to see what women think about dating fat men:
Amanda Chatel is a writer who divides her time between NYC and Paris. She's a regular contributor to Bustle and Glamour, with bylines at Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Livingly, Mic, The Bolde, Huffington Post and others. Follow her on Twitter , Facebook , or her website .
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An 82-year-old singer-songwriter from New York City is looking for a good time.
D’yan Forest says that while many of her friends have given up on sex, she’ll never stop craving intimacy.
“It ain’t over ’til the fat lady’s dead,” Forest told The Post with a chuckle.
The performer, who identifies as bisexual, sings about checking out the boys and girls on Tinder and says her desire to date is greater than ever.
“My friends who sit home with their old husbands or whatever, and watch television, they don’t want sex anymore. And I think it’s because they’re bored to death!” Forest said.
With song lyrics like, “I like a schlong that’s hard, or a snatch that’s ginger,” Forest isn’t coy about making her wants known.
“The older men my age don’t really interest me. They don’t think a woman is equal,” Forest told The Post, adding that it’s younger men who excite her.
Forest feels as though she connects more with younger men and loves conversing with them but feels as though she’s too old to attract them.
‘I would love to have sex. I’m not giving up hope.’
“It’s rough and I would love to have sex,” said Forest, adding, “I’m not giving up hope.”
Forest says she plans to go to meetups so that she can meet new people who share her interests.
She always puts on makeup and wears a distinctive hat so that she looks her best.
“I sometimes go out in the evenings, to a bar or a local place, where you sit around and talk,” she said.
Forest, who can sing in nine different languages, has traveled the world performing music, comedy and one-woman shows. She was married soon after graduating from Middlebury College, where she was the only Jewish student, and stayed with her husband for four years.
“I was a stupid virgin when I met him. If I had fooled around before marriage, I would have known not to marry him,” Forest told Lilith in March.
Now with years of experience under her belt, she’s hoping she can find a suitable partner who shares her zest for life.
“I’m just as vibrant emotionally, intellectually, sexually as I was in my 20s and 30s,” Forest said.
Video produced for the NY Post by Elettra Fiumi and Lea Khayata of Granny Cart Productions.

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