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By Amanda Chatel — Written on Sep 05, 2017
The first time I saw the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love and the completely unforgettable scene where Ryan Gosling's character takes off his shirt and Emma Stone’s character says, "It's like you're photoshopped," I cringed. It wasn't just that, "OMG, are you kidding me?" that came with those abs, but because I just don't get it.
That's right, I don't "get" washboard stomachs, six packs , or whatever they're being called these days. If you put Ryan Gosling and Zach Galifianakis in front of me, I'm going to go with Zach, and I'm not going to have to think about it for even a split second. I'm all over that... and his beard .
And a study has found that when it comes down to women choosing a toned man or a chubby man, three in four British women would rather have sex with a fat guy and 96 percent of women "predict a date with an abs-obsessed bloke to be positively dreary."
Well, yeah, is it ever fun to go out with someone who doesn't order dessert?
But why is this the case? Why is it that when it comes to the real world, the one we want to be with is, well... not so perfect? According to sexpert Tracey Cox, women are scared that they can't live up to the perfect abs of a perfect man, so we go for the chubby guys instead.
I beg to differ, but as one without any schooling in the way of being a sexpert, I'll keep my thoughts on how women might just prefer humor and substance, as opposed to chiseled abs, to myself.
Says Cox, "Seventy-four percent of women in the survey said they'd feel self-conscious taking their clothes off in front of a perfectly toned man. A he-man's discipline highlights our lack of it, making us feel even more acutely self-conscious of our own body flaws than usual. We feel far more comfortable with flab because it's less threatening."
How we view our bodies takes a huge toll in how we live our lives, even in regards to sex . While women are guilty of avoiding things, including sex, because of their weight, men, according to Cox, will still want to have sex no matter how self-conscious they are about their body.
Michael Alvear, author of Not Tonight Dear, I Feel Fat , found that 50 percent of women will skip sex even if they're in the mood because they "felt too fat."
It may seem like no big deal, but what happens is that all that dodging of sex can result in a woman losing her sex drive completely. Then where are you? A woman without a sex drive, just because of her fluffiness? No thanks!
Cox says there's much we can learn from — wait for it — men(!), in regards to how we view ourselves. When men look in the mirror they focus on their assets, and even when shown a photo of someone like, say, Efron, guys usually don’t compare themselves, whereas women are the complete opposite.
We can't seem to see the good stuff in ourselves, and if you show us a photo of any women with a "better" body than us, we'll crumble to the floor and wonder why we don’t have that awesome ass, those full lips, or that flat stomach. What we end up with is nobody having sex , because we let the society's standards of beauty manipulate our thinking.
I usually find myself disagreeing with Cox on a lot of things, but having sex with a fat guy isn't one of them. This time around she ends her article with an important point about how we should all be more like chubby dudes and "learn to love our bellies and accept that wobbly bits are all part of being mere mortals."
It's very true; being human means being imperfect. And if being imperfect means you order dessert after dinner, then I don't see why anyone would want to be any other way.
Check out the video below to see what women think about dating fat men:
Amanda Chatel is a writer who divides her time between NYC and Paris. She's a regular contributor to Bustle and Glamour, with bylines at Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Livingly, Mic, The Bolde, Huffington Post and others. Follow her on Twitter , Facebook , or her website .
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Disturbing new video shows the moment an Australian police department employee corners a 13-year-old girl in an elevator and gropes her as she frantically attempts to get away.
Glenn Roche, 54, who was found guilty of indecent assault this week, is seen in the footage chasing the youngster into the elevator after a day out with her family, the New Zealand Herald reported on Thursday.
Roche seems to be playfully chasing the girl but then the sicko grabs her, fondles her and tries to kiss her while she tries to wrestle free, the footage posted by TVNZ-TV shows.
The girl later told authorities that she still suffers nightmares from the harrowing July 2019 assault, according to the Herald.
But Roche told the judge he was just playing around and claimed there was “no sexual gratification on my behalf.”
“My hands have slid up her body as she slid to the ground,” the sicko told police. “My mind has gone off on a tangent like this is a challenge to me. I can get her and give her a kiss on the cheek like her two sisters and mum.”
“She contributed to that occurring by releasing her body weight and sliding through my hands,” he said, blaming his tiny victim.
Police said Roche had been out with the girl’s mom and siblings. It is unclear what his relationship to the girl and her family was.
The judge wasn’t buying his excuse, however, and found Roche guilty.
He was also suspended from the police department, where he worked as a civilian employee, according to the reports.
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