Farewell, Pik Uk - Chan Kin-man's Letter from Prison

When Sigmund Freud left Vienna, where he lived for many years and received many complaints (see note 1), he stated, "The feeling of triumph on being liberated is too strongly mixed with sorrow, for in spite of everything I still greatly loved the prison from which I have been released." It reminded me of Nelson Mandela. When he left the prison where he spent more than 20 years, he could not bear to part with the plants he grew there. 

In just a few more days, I will leave prison. Having spent just less than a year here, of course, I have no odd emotional attachments to this place. Who would yearn for the severely restrictive living conditions in such a filthy and clamorous environment? But I have to admit, the days of privation behind the towering walls provided a rare opportunity of peace to focus on reading and thought. During the White Terror Era in Taiwan, Yin Haiguang - a philosophy professor from the National Taiwan University - was once entrenched in the study of logic. He chose to leave the tranquillity of his desk to resist against the autocratic Kuomintang. His life was torn between "moral anguish and the pure thirst for knowledge". While I cannot compare with the professor's knowledge and virtue, I deeply understand the internal struggles that torment a scholar participating in politics.

Now that I have left academia, what can I contribute upon leaving prison? In the overwhelming sense of powerlessness after the Umbrella movement, I recall a spiritual conversation with Rev Chu Yiu-ming. I said that when we did our best but still could not shake an evil regime, what is left is to willingly endure suffering (see note 2). Theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer was the one who said this when resisting against the Nazis. He reminded us that Jesus’s final and most important act in life was to go to the cross. That was His greatest sermon. 

We devoted ourselves to civil disobedience, not just Occupy Central. After Occupy [Central], we turned ourselves in. We were tried and did not ask for mercy. We went to prison without remorse. All this was done to encourage those in authority and the general public to ponder why a group of gainfully employed citizens with loving families were willing to be political prisoners for democracy.

Borne from the hope that kindness is within peoples’ moral nature, it was John Rawls’s belief that this sort of protest could work in a “decent” society. Although I am confident that our citizens will one day understand the original intentions of the Occupy Movement, being a forerunner is still inevitably lonely. In 2002, along with others, Rev Chu and I founded the Hong Kong Democratic Development Network to fight for dual universal suffrage [for the appointment of both the Chief Executive and Legislative Council]. Many still did not feel the urgency for electoral reform at the time. I remember standing on a chair by the entrance to the Tiananmen Square Massacre vigil, shouting into a loudspeaker to appeal for universal suffrage to elect the Chief Executive. Many attendees looked suspiciously at me. Since then, we researched for a political reform plan, met with officials, held talks, wrote articles and organised rallies. Finally, our negotiations got to the Liason Office and our resistance got us in jail. In return, we received the 2014 NPCSC “831 framework” on the methods for selecting the Chief Executive (see note 3). I remember on the night of 31 Aug 2014 at Tamar Park, Alex Chow (see note 4) spoke tearfully on stage of how he saw a professor like me spend half a lifetime fighting for democracy and still failed. He asked if his generation would have to experience the same failure. I was able to hold back tears but my heart was filled with grief and indignation.

But the Anti-ELAB Movement reignited my hope for Hong Kong's future. The new generation's courage and wisdom not only forced the bill's withdrawal, but their ability to mobilise and create international networks were beyond the imagination of former democratic movement leaders. When I first went to prison, I thought God had meant for me to suffer in weariness and toil, in hunger and thirst, so that He could entrust in me a greater mission. But now, I see more clearly that our generation should not limit the younger generation's exploration since "common sense" is no match against the CCP. Perhaps I was meant to share my experience in prison with other political prisoners so that they could grow stronger from it. 

My family wrote to me quoting the Bible that I had fought the good fight, I had finished the race (see note 5). In truth, the civil society I tried for many years to create in China is on the verge of collapse and my fight for Hong Kong's universal suffrage is far beyond reach. I have come back empty-handed. My only source of hope comes from the many kind faces of integrity I have met on my road of resistance.

In the past few days, my fellow inmates counted down my days to freedom. The correctional officers initiated conversations with me and gave me their blessing, but for one young officer. He brusquely asked, "What crime did you commit to get yourself in jail?" At the moment, I was dumbfounded. I remember the judge said that our crime was "naivete". Maybe he was right. I believe that as long as we do not give up, neither will Hong Kong.

Chan Kin-ma, 8 March 2020

Editor's Notes:

Note 1: Freud, the psychology pioneer, grew up and established his career in Vienna. He had wanted to stay during the Nazi occupation but was finally compelled to leave when the Gestapo interrogated his youngest daughter.

Note 2: “The very fact that the evil which assaults him is unjustifiable makes it imperative that he should not resist it, but play it out and overcome it by patiently enduring the evil person. Suffering willingly endured is stronger than evil, it spells death to evil." By Bonhoeffer in Discipleship (1937) 

Note 3: The 2014 NPCSC “831 framework” was a decision made by the Standing Committee of the National People's Congress (NPCSC) to set limits for the 2017 Chief Executive election and 2016 Legislative Council election. It states that a Hong Kong Chief Executive candidate must "love the country [China] and love Hong Kong". 

Note 4: Alex Chow was one of the organizers of Occupy Central during the Umbrella Movement. He is a 2018 Nobel Peace Prize nominee.

Note 5: 2 Timothy 4:7 (KJV)

Source:

https://hk.appledaily.com/local/20200314/FV3Q7FFMNHGCZYFU2TPMDNUAZM/