Famous People Sex Tapes
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Famous People Sex Tapes
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A connoisseur assesses the salacious genre.
I've watched a lot of celebrity sex tapes. Dozens of them. Rarely are they titillating—but more interesting is how much they do or don't offer a glimpse into the private lives of those involved. They leave you wondering: Are they being themselves? Are they acting? Are they acting well ? Why did they choose the kitchen? When you're filming your sexual activities, self-presentation is paramount.
After watching a few of these, you can easily spot the frauds, whose construction is manipulated down to the last frame (see: Kim Kardashian, who now has the best-selling sex tape of all time ). As in Kardashian's case, a sex tape can skyrocket someone to fame (or at least infamy); on the other hand, a sex tape can ultimately bring ruin to an independent media company (*cough*Hulk Hogan*cough*).
Considering this is pornographic genre of great cultural interest, I've ranked 11 pivotal celebrity sex tapes here from best to worst—as measured purely by their cinematic qualities.
Note: Esquire does not endorse theft or unpermitted distribution of copyrighted material, but these have all been widely circulated, commented upon, and in some cases publicly approved and/or mocked by the participants.
This is one of the earliest and most notorious celebrity sex tapes, having nearly ruined Lowe's career. Watching it is a dull and queasy task. It's filmed from an unlevel tripod in yellowy light (gotta remember that white balance) and filled with white noise and blurry group sex whose indistinctness only leads you to imagine the worst. Alas, the '80s were not as glamorous as previously reported.
No one asked Screech for a sex tape. But Screech felt like unleashing one upon the world, and the result is even more nausea-inducing than one might expect. Diamond films two women from central porn casting, asking them, "Do you want to see the monster?" He later admitted that he used a " stunt wang ." Sounds about right.
Durst keeps the camera on the woman (somewhat understandably), not allowing us to take in the wider mise-en-scène and forcing us to identify him by his sleeve tats, before an abrupt mid-video pan to his face in closeup. This is just sloppy filmmaking, especially from a veteran music video director .
There are about as many Paris Hilton sex tapes as entries in the Hunger Games franchise. None of them is pleasant. The most famous, One Night in Paris, is a textbook example of everything you shouldn't do with your home porno. It's introduced by sleaze Rick Salomon himself, who thinks more highly of his skills than he should (his creepy catchphrase: She likes it...). Hilton, meanwhile, is so bored out of her mind that at one point she stops to answer her phone. There's no fun in watching them debate where to station the camera on a table. (Tip: Handheld is almost always better than stationary photography, especially webcams, which feel distant and clinical.) And the video makes a compelling case for never using the night vision setting to film your own sex, thereby giving it the dreaded Blair Witch/Zero Dark Thirty effect. At one point Salomon, chewing gum and staring at a monitor displaying his own cock, comments, "It looks like we're having a good time." No, it doesn't, Rick. It really doesn't.
It's hard to feel good about Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom . She was a former teen mom, now a regular mom craving publicity. He—he being famed porn star James Deen—has been accused of rape and sexual assault by multiple women. Abraham claimed the tape was a leak. Turns out she made $1.5 million for selling it to Vivid Entertainment. But, technically speaking, this production could have been worse. It was even good enough to spawn a sequel, Farrah 2: Backdoor and More . So there's that.
Befitting its star, this is just out-and-out weird. Simmons enters to Foreigner's " I Want to Know What Love Is " as a candle flickers in the background. He wears only a t-shirt (never a good look for a guy), and the woman seems game for anything but kissing him. The faraway stationary black-and-white photography works, for once, lending a surreal vibe to the proceedings.
It's rigorously controlled, with annoying soundtrack cues, though that should surprise no one who has followed Kardashian's career. In many ways this is the earliest glimpse into her ability to exploit her own bodily gifts for monolithic public attention. She shows little interest in the sex, but defends the naturalness of her breasts to the camera and insists that Ray J record her "bling" all the way down to her feet. She shows the slightest bit of humanity when Ray J shoots her unpacking, but it's quickly replaced by a smile. Kardashian is a pro.
Hogan's tape appears to be recorded by a security camera like some kind of voyeuristic Steven Soderbergh experiment. You can't see much, but the surprisingly clear audio and subtitles suggest a gentlemanly encounter, ended by Hogan giving the woman a goodnight kiss and telling her, "You're awesome."
It doesn't hold a candle to her magnum opus with Tommy, but Pam as always is a master of the costume. Here she's wearing knee-high boots in a Stevie-Nicks-sex-goddess look. You nearly forget Bret Michaels is in the room.
Farrell lays on the charm thick, which might be annoying if he didn't do it so well. He improvises increasingly inventive compliments for model Nicole Narain in his Irish lilt: "If a fucking camera could blush, this thing would be fucking red." "I didn't know they made bastards as sexy as you." And best of all: "Breakfast, lunch, and dinner right here." He could've turned on a couple more lights, and he's probably drunk, but who wouldn't be? Bonus points for self-deprecating jokes about his crummy photography and pubic hair.
This is the ur-celebrity sex tape, what you might call the Citizen Kane of famous people screwing, which ushered in the form's modern era. There's little you can say about this video that hasn't already been said. So I'll say this: It's sweet. You actually feel badly that the marriage didn't work out. Pam and Tommy were clearly in love during their honeymoon. They make the most of their locations—in front of a mansion, driving in a car, on a yacht, swimming in a lake—as well as the now-nostalgic analog video camera, including an artful zoom into the MAYHEM tattoo on Tommy's stomach. They unironically call each other "lover" and show the appropriate level of bashfulness. There's even suspense when they almost hit a rock (not a euphemism, a literal rock). What you get is what you want from any movie: a journey. Emotional, uh, payoff. There are few moments in cinema as tender and sincere as when Pam says, "He's gotta get me through the rest of my life." Granted, she's talking about Tommy's junk, but that's how true love works, isn't it?
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There's nothing bad, wrong, or dirty about a celebrity making a consensual sex tape. Unfortunately, sometimes those tapes get stolen or leaked. Here, the stories behind some of the most infamous videos you weren't meant to see. (And, no, we won't be linking to them.)
In 2007, Vivid Entertainment released "Kim Kardashian, Superstar," a 41-minute tape purchased from an unidentified third party for $1 million. Kim sued to prevent its release, but eventually settled for a rumored $5 million. "This tape, which was made three years ago, and was meant to be something private between myself and my then-boyfriend is extremely hurtful not only to me, but to my family as well," Kim told People at the time. "I am filing legal charges against the company who is distributing this tape since it is being sold completely without my permission or consent."
Vivid cochairman Steven Hirsch responded, "We are comfortable that we have the legal right to distribute this video, despite what others may say. We have been around for 20 years and if we didn’t feel comfortable putting it out, we wouldn’t. We would like Kim and Ray J to be a part of it and hopefully we can work that out."
Speaking to Oprah in 2012, Kim said she wasn't "naive to the fact" that she was "introduced to the world" via her sex tape, and that since it was a "negative" introduction, she had to work "ten times harder to get people to see the real [Kim]."
She also addressed rumors that she leaked the sex tape herself. "Why would anyone put that humiliation on their family like that?" she said.
In his 2016 book Kardashian Dynasty , Ian Halperin claimed that Kris Jenner orchestrated the whole thing, quoting an insider who said, "It was Kris who engineered the deal behind the scenes and was responsible for the tape seeing the light of day." She, too, has denied having anything to do with the sale of the tape.
"I feel embarrassed and humiliated, especially because my parents and the people who love me have been hurt," Hilton told the Associated Press after the release of her sex tape in 2003. "I was in an intimate relationship and never, ever thought that these things would become public."
The release of the tape via the Seattle-based company Marvad Corp. was followed by several lawsuits: according to People , Salomon filed a $10 million suit against the company for distributing the footage without the legal rights, and Marvad filed a breach of contract suit against Salomon's roommate, claiming - per People - that the roommate "misled the company into believing he owned the rights to the video." According to People , Salomon also filed a $10 million slander suit against Hilton, her parents and publicist, claiming their response to the tape suggested he had non-consensual sex with Hilton. (His suit against Hilton was later dropped.)
Hilton did not sue Salomon, but she did file a $30 million invasion of privacy lawsuit against Kahatani Ltd., a Panama-based Internet company that distributed the video, which was later dismissed .
Salomon eventually sold the tape himself to Red Light District Video, where it got the infamous name One Night in Paris . It's been reported that Hilton collected a percentage of the profits as well as a $400,000 payment, but she claims she's "never made a dollar" off the tape.
"I wish I had never met him," Hilton told Marie Claire of Salomon in August 2017." That is actually the one regret in my life. I wish that I had never met that guy. I could not leave my house for months. I was so depressed, humiliated. I didn't want to be seen in public."
Perhaps the most infamous celebrity sex tape of all time, this 1996 video was stolen by the couple's disgruntled electrician . From there, a member of the Italian mob paid $50,000 to cover manufacturing and distribution of the tape over the Internet, the idea being he'd get a cut of the sales - but a wave of copycat websites upended the business plan. With the video spreading fast, Anderson and Lee filed a $10 million civil lawsuit against everyone they thought might have a copy of the tape.
They got nowhere legally until the tape made its way to 25-year-old Internet whizkid Seth Warshavsky. After a judge refused to issue an injunction that would keep him from airing the video on his site Club Love, Anderon and Lee decided to settle. From there, Warshavsky cut a deal with Steven Hirsch, owner of Vivid Entertainment, to manufacture VHS, DVD and CD-ROM copies. Though there are rumors that Anderson and Lee cut a deal of their own to share in profits made off the video, both deny ever making money off the tape.
For years, Lopez's ex-husband of eleven months shopped an intimate video of life with his ex-wife, reportedly including nudity and private footage from their honeymoon (so this one's not quite a "sex tape"), that he called "How I Married Jennifer Lopez: The J.Lo and Ojani Noa Story." The video was reportedly in violation of the confidentially agreement he signed after his separation from Lopez, and her lawyers fought its release accordingly. As of 2011, the tape was literally locked up by the court in a safe deposit box.
Farrell and Playboy model Nicole Narain dated in 2003 and recorded a 14-minute sex tape. A couple years later, the tape was released and, according to People , Farrell accused Narain of "trying to distribute the tape through an intermediary," which she denied. "I try not to let too many things get to me, but this is definitely stressful," she said of the claims in 2005. "I really would like my name to be cleared. I have nothing to do with this."
Farrell and Narain reached an "amicable settlement" in 2006, though the terms remained confidential.
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