Family Therapy Mother Son Experience

Family Therapy Mother Son Experience

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Family Problems

Blake Griffin Edwards, MSMFT, LMFT

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Family problems can manifest in the healthiest of families, resulting in challenging, frustrating, and painful interactions among family members. From little irritations to buried resentments, from dramatic arguments to feelings of guilt, disappointment, and anger we did not even know we had, our families often bring up the most intense emotions we experience, for better or worse.
Ideally, our families are those whom we can always rely on for support, from whom we draw strength and feedback, for whom we feel love and concern, and with whom we feel close and comfortable, openly sharing thoughts and feelings. In reality, few families meet this expectation 100% of the time, and in some cases, a person’s family is far from ideal, associated instead with stress , misunderstanding, anger , disconnection, and unmet needs. From our family of origin, we develop our expectations of others, communication skills, outlook on life, ability to give and receive love, and coping skills, among myriad other traits, and chronic family problems can have lasting effects.
Family problems from mild to severe will challenge every family at some point. These can result from behavioral and mental health issues in the family or from specific stressful events. Common family problems include:
Whatever the source, distressing family dynamics can greatly interfere with the functioning of every family member, including extended family, although those living in the same household are likely to be impacted more significantly than those who live apart. When family members do not get along, the tension can impact each family member’s mental and physical health, relationships, and even his or her capacity for routine tasks. Evidence of family problems can materialize through repeated family conflicts, dramatic behavioral shifts in children and adolescents , mood swings and depression .
Fortunately, resolving family issues require the cooperation of everyone in the family, and this provides a great opportunity to strengthen family ties and interactions.
Family therapy is designed to help families collaborate to address family problems. The course of treatment is often brief, and most family therapy models seek to address the communication (verbal and nonverbal) styles of the family, as well as any individual issues that may be interfering with the cohesiveness of the family system. Family problems do not have to be severe to warrant therapy. Working with a therapist , families can expect to learn to understand one another better, communicate more effectively, and work proactively to disrupt unhealthy patterns.
Marriage and family therapists may offer to see the family as a group in each session, or individual sessions may be provided to supplement the group sessions. Most forms of family therapy fall under the umbrella of family systems therapy , though there are a number of treatment modalities suitable to addressing family concerns.
Ideally, family problems are addressed as they surface, but many times family problems are not handled in a timely fashion and sometimes not at all; instead, issues surrounding an event or family pattern may surface for family members later in life. Family-of-origin concerns are frequently addressed as part of individual therapy, whether the person enters therapy expressly for that purpose or for other concerns.
Mental health professionals who meet our membership requirements can take advantage of benefits such as:
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Kendra Cherry, MS, is an author and educational consultant focused on helping students learn about psychology.
Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP, is a board-certified pediatric psychologist, parent coach, author, speaker, and owner of A New Day Pediatric Psychology, PLLC.

Family therapy is a type of treatment designed to help with issues that specifically affect families' mental health and functioning. It can help individual family members build stronger relationships, improve communication, and manage conflicts within the family system.

Some of the primary goals of family therapy are to create a better home environment, solve family issues, and understand the unique issues that a family might face. 1

There are several types of family therapy. A few that you might encounter include: 1

Some therapists may stick with a specific type of family therapy. In contrast, others may take a more eclectic, multimodal approach that incorporates aspects of different types of treatment to suit the needs of the family.

The techniques utilized in family therapy typically depend on factors such as the theoretical orientation of the therapist and the specific needs of the family. Some methods that may be utilized include:

Techniques used in family therapy focus on improving emotional awareness, assisting with major changes within a family, helping people accept things they cannot control, and improving communication and collaboration.

Other specific techniques used in family therapy may include learning to practice empathy , emotional validation , reflective listening, and cognitive reframing . 2

Family therapy can help people with many different issues. Some of these include:

This type of therapy can also address individual mental health problems that can affect the entire family, such as anxiety , chronic illness, depression , and substance use. 1

Because this form of treatment addresses communication, family members can learn how to better share their thoughts and needs and resolve conflicts in a way that is less likely to damage relationships. 2

This type of therapy also focuses on how family members can address an individual family member’s difficulties. For example, if one family member has a mental health condition, family therapy can help alter some conditions that sometimes contribute to the problem.

When individuals are affected by mental illness, family members may sometimes lack awareness of how to help. As a result, they may engage in behaviors that maintain or even worsen aspects of the illness. 1 Family therapy can help members of the family learn more about what they can do to support their family member who has a mental disorder while preserving their own mental well-being.

Research suggests that family therapy can be effective for a range of purposes. Some supporting evidence includes:

Further research is needed to better understand how family therapy may be most effective and how it compares to other forms of treatment.

Because family therapy involves talking about emotional problems and conflicts, it can be difficult and upsetting. In some cases, people may initially feel worse before they begin to improve. It is important to remember that a professional therapist is there to help members of the family work through these conflicts and handle the intense emotions that people may experience.

While family therapy can be useful for various issues, that doesn’t mean it is right for everyone or every situation. Some other types of treatment that may also be useful include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or child psychotherapy.

Family therapy is often short-term, but it may also take place for a year or longer, depending on the situation and needs of the family. While it frequently involves all family unit members, it may also focus on those who are willing or able to participate in treatment.

During therapy sessions, the therapist will ask questions to learn more about the problems that have brought the family to therapy. They will also look at other factors contributing to issues, such as underlying mental health conditions and environmental stress.

This type of therapy is often provided by licensed marriage and family therapists (LMFT), but it can also be practiced by other mental health professionals including licensed professional counselors, psychologists , and social workers .

If you are interested in trying family therapy, it can be helpful to ask your doctor for a referral or look for professionals in your area who specialize in this type of therapy. You can also search the online directory at the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy website.

Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life.
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Varghese M, Kirpekar V, Loganathan S. Family interventions: basic principles and techniques . Indian J Psychiatry . 2020;62(Suppl 2):S192-S200. doi:10.4103/psychiatry.IndianJPsychiatry_770_19
Reiter MD. Family Therapy: An Introduction to Process, Practice and Theory . Routledge; 2017.
Jiménez L, Hidalgo V, Baena S, León A, Lorence B. Effectiveness of structural⁻strategic family therapy in the treatment of adolescents with mental health problems and their families . Int J Environ Res Public Health . 2019;16(7):1255. doi:10.3390/ijerph16071255
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Girls run in my family, so I naturally thought when it was time for me to have children that I would have daughters. Well, as the Y chromosome will tell you, I'm lucky enough to be the mom of two boys. And spending special time with them is one of my favorite things. My little guys and I are always thinking up new mother-son bonding activities for our time together.
Having boys may have been a surprise, but it is one of the best things that could have happened to me. Being around my sons has let me experience things I probably wouldn't have, if I had daughters. (And I don't just mean deferring penis questions to my husband.) My baby boys are the most fun to hang out with, because they are always up for something new. It doesn't take much convincing to get them out of the house and into an adventure. It's been a wild ride so far, and I don't see it slowing down any time soon.
Being a boy mom is a hilarious, messy, and rewarding part of my life — I really can't imagine things any other way. I love it when I find an activity or experience that brings me closer with one (or both) of my boys. If you're a mom of boys like me, and looking for new things to do with your son, try something new with these 17 mother-son bonding activities.
Select a picture book series or one good chapter book to read together. Maybe you take turns reading aloud, or just read at the same time and talk about together. Either way, sharing in a story as mother and son will give you time together with loads of conversation.
What could be more fun than running around and trying to shoot each other with laser guns? Not too much. A fun way to spend an hour or two, laser tag will have you laughing together and gasping for breath from all the giggling.
Pack a picnic, for the park, play tourist in your own town, or enjoy a special dinner for two. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you get out and enjoy a day together having fun.
Fresh air and a little expanded energy makes for a great time. To make the activity even more enjoyable, bring along a book to help you identify the plants and creature you'll see on the way.
This may be one of those times when mom has to take one for the team and go see a show that your son wants to see. It may not be your favorite style of music, but the little guy will always remember mom taking him to a concert.
My boys always think it's a really cool day if I play video games with them. If you don't have a gaming system at home, you can visit an arcade neat you.
Head out to a nearby amusement park and get your adrenaline pumping. If he's not ready to take on the death-defying rides just yet, you can always play a game or two instead.
Pick a craft or fun project that you can complete together in an afternoon. Then sit back and admire your hard work.
Spend time together while helping others. Find a place that is kid-friendly to volunteer with your son for the day.
My boys love it when I show up at their school and surprise them with lunch. Of course, this may be less appealing to older sons who are "embarrassed" by you. If that's the case, go out for a special lunch on the weekend.
Keep a little correspondence going by passing notes back and forth to each other. Having your own secret mail system (like leaving them under pillows) feels like a private, special connection that only the two of your share.
Sneak out one dark night for a little mother-son star gazing. See if you can find constellations or have a contest to see who can find the brightest star.
Get into the kitchen together and make a meal for the rest of the family. Cooking together can be fun and creates a sense of teamwork between the two of you.
Maybe you don't have all the moves down for the whip and nae nae, or maybe you want to try indoor rock climbing. Learning something together always bring your closer, and gives you a chance to grow together in your new interest.
Create an activity that's just between you two. Maybe it's sneaking off for ice cream every Sunday or maybe you have a secret handshake. Sharing something special that no one else knows about will make your child feel extra special himself.
Find a destination that you can reach within an hour or two and venture out together on a mini road trip. Enjoy a new town or city for the day and head home full of memories.

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As counselors, we come in contact with clients who are angry or heartbroken and oftentimes feel defeated. This sense of pain and loss is frequently realized in the forensic setting in which I work with parents who are desperate to rebuild a parent-child relationship that is severely damaged or estranged. I also work with children who assert that they never want to see or speak with one of their parents again.
These are not parents who have abused or neglected their children. They are parents who previously had what would be characterized as a good relationship with their children — until the time of a separation or divorce. I have worked with families in which the conflict has continued for longer than 10 years prior to therapy.
It should be noted that many people in the helping professions refer to this troubled parent-child relationship as “parental alienation.” Through the years, various nomenclatures have been applied in an attempt to give this pathological post-divorce phenomenon a name. But even as we settle on what to call it, we must help these children and the counselors who work with them.
Most counselors working with children or families have witnessed this dynamic to varying degrees. There are ample articles on child alienation, yet many counselors remain conflicted about how to effectively treat these troubled parent-child relationships.
I’ll provide a case example. “Sarah” contacted me and said she had been divorced for 15 years. She told me she had been happily remarried for five years, held a doctorate degree in mathematics and was employed as a full-time professor. But she indicated she had a damaged relationship with her 15-year-old daughter, “Julie.”
In chronicling her story in my office, Sarah vacillated between sobbing and seething with anger. She said that when Julie spent time with her biological father, “Michael,” that he undermined Sarah’s parenting boundaries, spoiled Julie and used every opportunity to denigrate Sarah. Sarah went on to say that she was worried because Julie was disregarding curfews and skipping classes, had been in trouble with the juvenile court system and had recently been caught smoking marijuana.
When I contacted Michael, he presented with a jovial disposition. He stated he was engaged to be married and was employed as a plumber. He initially appeared supportive of his daughter. Although he said he didn’t see any reason that Julie might need therapy, he indicated that he wasn’t opposed.
When Julie’s therapy sessions began, she insisted that she loathed her mother because Sarah was unreasonable. Julie stated that her mother grounded her for “trivial” reasons such as skipping school and smoking marijuana. When discussing her father’s approach to parenting, Julie described Michael as a superb parent because he did not stoop to “ruining” her life. In addition, Julie mentioned that her father was planning on buying her a car. She stated that her father would talk with her and not carry out “ridiculous, over-the-top consequences for trivial, normal teenage mishaps.”
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