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Countering "going to do it anyway."

I recently completed a graduate course in character education in which we were required to carry out an "action project." For my project I chose to use character-based sex education to try to instill in my younger sister and her friend the self-respect, self-control, and courage needed to lead moral, fulfilling, and healthy lives.
I wanted to inform my 14-year-old sister Kathy about something that I unfortunately just began to take seriously: abstinence. Sure, I have always known what the word meant, but I had never considered it an option for me, until recently. I felt that it was my responsibility to pass the philosophy of abstinence on to my sister because I know that she will not get it in the "going to do it anyway" program that is used at her high school. Also, she is a virgin (her friend is, too), so I wanted to show her how important it is to hold onto that purity.
I started these discussions when I accidentally overheard my sister Kathy, and her friend, Michelle, talking about a "slut" that one of their friends was dating. I asked them why they considered her a slut, and Michelle responded: "She has slept with at least eight guys already, and she is easy." I asked them to think about why this girl is so promiscuous. Kathy said, "She's trying to keep a boyfriend." They assumed that having sex was a way of holding onto a boyfriend and showing love for one another. They also assumed that condoms would protect them from disease and pregnancy and that having sex had no implications for their future adult lives. My goal was to dispel all these myths.
We first tackled the issue of sex as "showing love" or "keeping a boyfriend." I used the girl they were talking about as an example of how boyfriends come and go whether girls have intercourse with them or not. We also talked about girls' feelings when they are rejected after giving part of themselves to another person. I then told them about my having pre-marital sex, and how I wished these relationships had never occurred and that the only true way to find out if a guy loves you is to make him wait until marriage.

We talked about the self-respect and courage involved in leading sexually abstinent lives until marriage. These two young girls developed a new awareness of how truly loving relationships and commitments develop and are sustained. Their awareness was evident in their response to my disclosing that I recently told my boyfriend that I wanted to abstain from sex from now on and he said he could not do this. I asked Kathy and Michelle if they thought the relationship was worth continuing, and they both said, "No, he does not love you if he won't wait for you." I was proud of their answer.
I gave real-life examples of teens who became pregnant or who contracted STDs even with the use of condoms; one of those persons was a close friend of mine.
I also wanted to make these girls aware of the physical dangers of pre-marital sex. I gave real-life examples of teens who became pregnant or who contracted STDs even with the use of condoms; one of those persons was a close friend of mine. They were shocked to find out that this friend contracted herpes from sexual intercourse while using a condom. We considered the possible implications of such diseases: the inability to conceive a baby, passing on a sexual disease to your spouse, and transmitting a disease to your baby in the womb or during delivery.
Besides being more confident in their virginity, Kathy and Michelle have now set the personal goal of saving sex for marriage. They also no longer pick apart boys or girls who are sexually active by calling them "sluts" or "pimps" but instead focus on the deeper consequences of such behaviors and on what promiscuous girls and boys must be lacking in their lives.
My sister and Michelle have recently asked two of their friends to join us in our discussions. I've also shared my project with the parents of these girls. These parents are beginning to realize that abstinence-based sex education is more beneficial than the model now used at their daughters' high school.
A pdf version of this article is available here .
Jessica Burberry. "Teaching my younger sister about sex and love." excellence & ethics (Summer, 1998).
Reprinted with permission. Excellence & Ethics , published by the Center for the 4th and 5th Rs , is the education letter of the Smart & Good Schools Project. It features essays, research, and K-12 best practices that help school leaders, teachers, students, parents, and community members do their best work (performance character) and do the right thing (moral character).
excellence & ethics is published twice a year and may be subscribed to, without cost, here .
Jessica Burberry (a pseudonym) is a first-year elementary school teacher and a graduate student in education at SUNY Cortland.
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The couple say they met through their parents and claim to have had their first kiss during a 'sibling movie night'.
Elizabeth Daoud / Lifestyle / Updated 30.10.2020
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A US couple, who are also step-siblings, have been forced to defend their relationship on social media after backlash.
Diana Camila Avila and Jordie Vena run the TikTok account AlphaFamilia which boasts more than 600,000 followers.
The couple say they met through their parents and claim to have had their first kiss during a “sibling movie night”.
For more Lifestyle related news and videos check out Lifestyle >>
Avila and Vena have racked up more than nine million likes on their videos, which feature the couple, dancing, role-playing and talking.
After receiving backlash on social media, the pair addressed their relationship.
“Bro I know y’all aren’t blood related but come one ur (sic) siblings,” one person said in a comment.
In response to the comment, Avila said: “We love each other and we feel so good with each other”, in a video posted last month.
“I haven’t found anybody that makes me feel this way,” she added.
“We love each other and if you don’t like it well then too bad.
“Even though we’re just step-siblings, You guys are right, we can’t do this anymore so we’ve decided to just say: too bad for you,” Vena added.
In an earlier video captioned “Love is love”, the couple addressed the hate they had received.
“A lot of you have a problem with our relationship,” the couple wrote in captions on the video.
“We are step-siblings and love each other.
Other people commenting on the couple’s videos slammed their relationship.
“Y’all are step siblings what the f***,” one person wrote.
“Step siblings dating What does your family think?,” another person said.
But the others defended the couple.
“I don’t understand why they get hate. I love them both so much,” one person said.
By Chloe Cawood / Pregnancy & Births
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Demi Moore shows off her dance moves in 1996 Striptease trailer
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In recent years she has become known for having a body that appears to defy the passing of time.
And in an Instagram snap posted by her daughter Tallulah on Sunday, Demi Moore showed that at 52 years old, she has the figure that a woman in her early 20's would be over the moon with.
The actress looked truly amazing as she posed in a bikini with her children, wearing a tiny two-piece.
Flawless: Demi Moore appeared in an Instagram photo on Sunday which showed at 52, she has the physique of a woman at least half her age
The string tied swimwear, which featured a red and white pattern, showed off Demi's enviable physique.
Resting on one foot, she posed in the shallows of the swimming pool, her arms around her daughters shoulders.
Demi's lean legs could be seen in the shot, as Tallulah's hand rested on the actresses taught torso.
Her youngest daughter also looks gorgeous in the photo, wearing a one shouldered swimsuit with her short hair pulled back to the side.
Age defying: The star, seen here in Mexico in December last year, is fastidious about her diet
OndadeMar 'Cayenne' triangle bikini
With a year-round bikini body like that, it's little wonder Demi Moore isn't short of toyboys to go on holiday with. And she's definitely not short of some great swimwear to show off her figure, either. We love this print bikini with striped edges, which is by Colombian brand OndadeMar.
OndadeMar's distinctive stripe trim bikinis are becoming a signature of theirs, and we've spotted Demi's fellow A-listers like Irina Shayk and Ashley Tisdale working the luxe label on the beach.
This one's clearly a favourite of Demi's, because we spied her wearing it a few months ago too. Unfortunately, since she sported it, the Cayenne style is now completely sold out.
But never fear - Fashion Finder is here to help you do chic swimwear like Demi.
We think it's all about the nautical stripes this season to get you into the beach holiday mood. Which is why we've rounded up some fab options below. For busty girls head to New Look, or bag the Splendid pick at Revolve to nail the two-tone trend Demi is rocking too.
New Look DD-G stripe triangle bikini top
Solid & Striped The Morgan bikini top at ShopBop
Splendid sporty blues striped bikini top at Revolve
Seafolly striped halterneck bikini top at Selfridges
Enviable: Demi also works out regularly to stay in shape, doing a mixture of cardio and weights
Both she and her sister seem to have inherited their mothers genes as Scout, 23, also flaunts her slim pins in the picture wearing a blue bikini.
Tallulah captioned the shot: 'mymomsbodtho' - and her followers agreed showering praise on Demi's physique.
The actress puts her age defying body down to hard work and discipline.
She is fastidious about her diet and works hard to stay in shape.
Stunning: The brunette is committed - for her 1997 movie G.I Jane she did weights for two hours and day and went for six mile runs - also seen here in Mexico in December 2013
Beach body: The actress works on preserving her arms, stomach and lower body
When worked on the film Striptease in 1996, her regime included pre-dawn beach runs, weights, and yoga.
She also had to do dance rehearsals for her role as Erin Grant which would often last for up to three hours a day.
When she worked on G.I. Jane, in 1997, her trainer, Gregory Joujon-Roche said she would lift weights for two hours a day,as well as doing a daily six-mile run.
He told People : 'She wants to preserve her arms, stomach, lower body.'
It is clear Demi's daughters Scout, 23 and Tallulah, 21 - pictured here in Los Angeles in November 2014, have inherited some of their mothers body genes
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