Family Share Sex

Family Share Sex
Exploring practices that can inform a family-based approach to sex education — and help caregivers navigate crucial (but tricky) conversations

By:

Bethany Berger ,
Leah Shafer ,
Ronesha Williams

- Any - Arts Civics and History College and Career Diversity and Inclusion Early Childhood Education Policy Global Education K-12 Language and Literacy Learning and Teaching Mind and Brain Parenting and Community School Leadership Social-Emotional Wellbeing STEM Learning Students with Disabilities - Any - - Any - Arts Civics and History College and Career Diversity and Inclusion Early Childhood Education Policy Global Education K-12 Language and Literacy Learning and Teaching Mind and Brain Parenting and Community School Leadership Social-Emotional Wellbeing STEM Learning Students with Disabilities

Resurfacing the lessons of Ferguson, which continue to resonate today

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Emily Boudreau

The importance of sleep in education, and a call to action

By:

Jim Davis

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For some parents and caregivers, broaching the topic of sex with their children isn’t just awkward. These conversations can be confusing, poignant, even humbling.
How is a mother who had children as a teenager supposed to support her son as he starts to form relationships — while preventing an intergenerational cycle of unplanned pregnancy? How is a grandfather supposed to talk to a young grandchild he suspects might have been sexually abused — especially if that child doesn’t have the terminology to describe what happened?
One approach that we’ve investigated, spearheaded by a small organization in Jackson, Mississippi, is to teach sexual education to children and families together. For the last several years, Growing Up Knowing has been hosting sex education sessions for preschoolers, elementary schoolers, and middle schoolers, accompanied by a parent or caregiver. By learning together about sexual health, the consequences of risky behavior, and how to prevent sexual assault, pregnancy, and STIs, these workshops increase communication between families and their children around the most fraught topics.

Conversations like these are important everywhere, not just in states with strict sex education laws or high rates of STIs and teen pregnancy . Children and teens are actually more likely to base their sexual decisions on their families than they are on their peers, according to Power to Decide: The Campaign to Prevent Unplanned Pregnancy . And when it comes to issues like preventing teen pregnancy and sexual assault, working across generations can lead to more sustainable change.

We spoke with Growing Up Knowing to find examples of practices for implementing a whole-family sex education curriculum — at schools, afterschool programs, faith institutions, and community organizations. Many of these examples may useful for designers and facilitators of sex education programs elsewhere.
Above all, sex education should empower students and families to seek and provide affirmative consent . Young people and their caregivers should feel ready to face the uncertain futures of dating, sex, and relationships ahead of them.
Part of a special series about preventing sexual harassment at school. Read the whole series .
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Extramarital sex partners likely to be close friends, and men are more apt to cheat

By Doug McPherson • Published: April 4, 2018
CU Boulder researcher finds that practice reduces racial bias in a first-person shooter simulation—but the benefits only go so far. Read more
Two researchers at the University of Colorado Boulder are exploring human settlement and urbanization patterns in the United States between 1810 and 2015 using a groundbreaking new dataset from Zillow. Read more
Mountains both help create new species and subspecies of the rosy finch and keep them distinct, according to new research from CU Boulder Read more
Americans who admit to having extramarital sex most likely cheat with a close friend, according to research from the University of Colorado Boulder’s Department of Psychology and Neuroscience.
Just over half (53.5 percent) of those reporting extramarital sex said they were unfaithful with someone they knew well, such as a close friend. About a third of affairs are with someone who’s somewhat well-known, such as a neighbor, co-worker or long-term acquaintance (about 29.4 percent). The rest of affairs occur with casual acquaintances.
And on the question of who reports cheating more, the researchers—Lindsay Labrecque, a PhD psychology student, and Mark Whisman, a psychology professor at CU Boulder—say it is consistently reported more frequently by men, despite reports from the media and some clinicians that men and women engage in infidelity at similar rates.
The researchers culled data from nine years of the General Social Survey , analyzing responses from 13,030 people nationwide.
The two researchers found that about 21 percent of men and 13 percent of women reported infidelity at some point in their lifetime and that this gender difference has been consistent from 2000 to 2016.
Labrecque adds that men are more likely than women to hold more favorable attitudes about extramarital sex.
Another gender difference: Among those who reported having extramarital sex in the past year, men were much more likely than women to have paid for—or to have received payment for—sex, at about 12 percent compared to just 1 percent.
Labrecque and Whisman say they wanted to shed more light on extramarital sex, especially about the identity of extramarital partners along with gender differences and attitudes.
“I’ve always been very interested in understanding how sex contributes to relationship satisfaction and mental health,” says Labrecque, who plans to work after graduation with couples on sexual and relationship adjustment.
“We know infidelity impacts relationship satisfaction … it’s the most common reason given for divorce or separation and it’s a difficult issue to treat in therapy. A better understanding of all the issues related to extramarital sex may help improve treatment.”
The researchers say they also found that attitudes about extramarital sex are growing slightly more relaxed.
“We found that while most Americans still disapprove of extramarital sex, there has been a small change that may reflect more tolerance and flexibility in attitudes,” Labrecque says.
In 2000, about 79 percent of Americans viewed extramarital sex as “always wrong” and about 7 percent of Americans reported extramarital sex as “wrong only sometimes” compared to 76 percent and 9 percent in 2016, respectively.
And again, there were gender differences in these attitudes. Men were less likely to report that extramarital sex was always wrong.
The research also showed that the number of married people who reported ever having sex with someone other than their spouse decreased between 2000 and 2016, albeit by a small percentage. Specifically, lifetime prevalence of extramarital sex decreased from 17.8 percent in 2000 to 16.3 percent in 2016.
We know infidelity impacts relationship satisfaction … it’s the most common reason given for divorce or separation and it’s a difficult issue to treat in therapy. A better understanding of all the issues related to extramarital sex may help improve treatment."
“Overall, rates of extramarital sex have remained fairly constant over the 17-year period and may be lower than popularly held beliefs about extramarital sex reported in the media,” Labrecque says.
As for why people cheat, Whisman says prior experiences of extramarital sex, more permissive attitudes towards extramarital sex, and a greater acceptance of casual sex are all related to a greater likelihood of engaging in extramarital sex.
“With respect to relationship factors, the association between lower relationship satisfaction and extramarital sex is a well-established finding,” Whisman says.
“Finally, there are several contextual variables that have been linked with extramarital sex, including lack of religious attendance, work-related opportunities, and a social group in which extramarital sex is relatively more prevalent and accepted.”
Up next for Labrecque is more work on the topic—studying how, if at all, extramarital sex with different types of partners affects the duration of marriage. For example, would a couple be more likely to divorce if the husband cheated with a close friend versus someone he didn’t know as well?
“I wonder whether married individuals who have extramarital sex with partners such as a close friend or co-worker are choosing such partners as a commitment to form a new relationship and by proxy, to leave their marriage,” Labrecque says.
“These partners possess or provide inherent qualities including emotional intimacy, closeness, friendship, support etc., and choosing to have extramarital sex with a partner with these qualities may reflect a preference for a committed and/or intimate extramarital relationship more so than a partner paid for sex or a casual date.”
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Colorado Arts and Sciences Magazine

Secondary Menu About Subscribe Archive Main Website Giving

Extramarital sex partners likely to be close friends, and men are more apt to cheat

By Doug McPherson • Published: April 4, 2018
CU Boulder researcher finds that practice reduces racial bias in a first-person shooter simulation—but the benefits only go so far. Read more
Two researchers at the University of Colorado Boulder are exploring human settlement and urbanization patterns in the United States between 1810 and 2015 using a groundbreaking new dataset from Zillow. Read more
Mountains both help create new species and subspecies of the rosy finch and keep them distinct, according to new research from CU Boulder Read more
Americans who admit to having extramarital sex most likely cheat with a close friend, according to research from the University of Colorado Boulder’s Department of Psychology and Neuroscience.
Just over half (53.5 percent) of those reporting extramarital sex said they were unfaithful with someone they knew well, such as a close friend. About a third of affairs are with someone who’s somewhat well-known, such as a neighbor, co-worker or long-term acquaintance (about 29.4 percent). The rest of affairs occur with casual acquaintances.
And on the question of who reports cheating more, the researchers—Lindsay Labrecque, a PhD psychology student, and Mark Whisman, a psychology professor at CU Boulder—say it is consistently reported more frequently by men, despite reports from the media and some clinicians that men and women engage in infidelity at similar rates.
The researchers culled data from nine years of the General Social Survey , analyzing responses from 13,030 people nationwide.
The two researchers found that about 21 percent of men and 13 percent of women reported infidelity at some point in their lifetime and that this gender difference has been consistent from 2000 to 2016.
Labrecque adds that men are more likely than women to hold more favorable attitudes about extramarital sex.
Another gender difference: Among those who reported having extramarital sex in the past year, men were much more likely than women to have paid for—or to have received payment for—sex, at about 12 percent compared to just 1 percent.
Labrecque and Whisman say they wanted to shed more light on extramarital sex, especially about the identity of extramarital partners along with gender differences and attitudes.
“I’ve always been very interested in understanding how sex contributes to relationship satisfaction and mental health,” says Labrecque, who plans to work after graduation with couples on sexual and relationship adjustment.
“We know infidelity impacts relationship satisfaction … it’s the most common reason given for divorce or separation and it’s a difficult issue to treat in therapy. A better understanding of all the issues related to extramarital sex may help improve treatment.”
The researchers say they also found that attitudes about extramarital sex are growing slightly more relaxed.
“We found that while most Americans still disapprove of extramarital sex, there has been a small change that may reflect more tolerance and flexibility in attitudes,” Labrecque says.
In 2000, about 79 percent of Americans viewed extramarital sex as “always wrong” and about 7 percent of Americans reported extramarital sex as “wrong only sometimes” compared to 76 percent and 9 percent in 2016, respectively.
And again, there were gender differences in these attitudes. Men were less likely to report that extramarital sex was always wrong.
The research also showed that the number of married people who reported ever having sex with someone other than their spouse decreased between 2000 and 2016, albeit by a small percentage. Specifically, lifetime prevalence of extramarital sex decreased from 17.8 percent in 2000 to 16.3 percent in 2016.
We know infidelity impacts relationship satisfaction … it’s the most common reason given for divorce or separation and it’s a difficult issue to treat in therapy. A better understanding of all the issues related to extramarital sex may help improve treatment."
“Overall, rates of extramarital sex have remained fairly constant over the 17-year period and may be lower than popularly held beliefs about extramarital sex reported in the media,” Labrecque says.
As for why people cheat, Whisman says prior experiences of extramarital sex, more permissive attitudes towards extramarital sex, and a greater acceptance of casual sex are all related to a greater likelihood of engaging in extramarital sex.
“With respect to relationship factors, the association between lower relationship satisfaction and extramarital sex is a well-established finding,” Whisman says.
“Finally, there are several contextual variables that have been linked with extramarital sex, including lack of religious attendance, work-related opportunities, and a social group in which extramarital sex is relatively more prevalent and accepted.”
Up next for Labrecque is more work on the topic—studying how, if at all, extramarital sex with different types of partners affects the duration of marriage. For example, would a couple be more likely to divorce if the husband cheated with a close friend versus someone he didn’t know as well?
“I wonder whether married individuals who have extramarital sex with partners such as a close friend or co-worker are choosing such partners as a commitment to form a new relationship and by proxy, to leave their marriage,” Labrecque says.
“These partners possess or provide inherent qualities including emotional intimacy, closeness, friendship, support etc., and choosing to have extramarital sex with a partner with these qualities may reflect a preference for a committed and/or intimate extramarital relationship more so than a partner paid for sex or a casual date.”
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By Glenn Fleishman , Senior Contributor, Macworld Dec 18, 2014 1:53 am PST

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UPDATE: This article originally omitted discussing how location sharingcan be selectively disabled for members of a Family Sharinggroup, and has been updated to include that.
No Mac is an island, and every iPad is part of the main. But Apple has, for many years, had trouble with letting a group of allied people—let’s call them a “family”—make best used of shared devices and shared digital purchases. Family Sharing is the latest attempt by Apple to facilitate families’ sharing (if not caring).
It comes with a hidden curse, though: Families that share together can have all their devices wiped together and all track each other’s locations, regardless of one’s age. One could argue these are good things when you’ve chosen to opt into Family Sharing and location sharing. But, as your faithful writer keeps stressing, you have to know the risks in order to evaluate them.

Family Sharing requires all the latest everything: iOS 8, OS X Yosemite, and iTunes 12. On a Windows system, you need to install
iCloud for Windows 4 . With all of that in place, Apple lets up to six people share media purchases across their own accounts. This includes apps (and in-app purchases), books, and anything bought via iTunes. A single credit card can (must, actually) be used to make purchases.
Chris Breen wrote a comprehensive guide to Family Sharing in September, after Yosemite shipped: “
Get to know iOS 8: Family Sharing sets your iTunes purchases free .” But what I want address is something reader Joey Archer alerted me to via Twitter: Family Sharing extends to Find My iPhone and Find My Mac, as well as Find My Friends.
You can require that children’s accounts check in before buying anything, but you can’t tweak the location-sharing settings by age.
This all makes perfect and lovely sense. When my children are old enough that I want to send them into the world on their own, I expect to outfit them with iPhones, and absolutely want to be able to know where they are if something happens or just to know they’ve gotten home safely without me having to have them check in.
But there’s something a little interesting in how Family Sharing works. Even though you can denote specific accounts as
belonging to 12-and-under humans , you can’t prevent
location sharing and other features from working across every device in a group, as opposed to just adults seeing everything, and kids not unless the adults allow it. Even if Apple offered this option for younger kids, teens graduate from account restrictions at age 13.
That sounds trivial, and I don’t have teenagers yet, but it would seem to defeat the purpose of keeping tabs on your kids as appropriate while also not letting them know when you’re, say, returning from an evening obligation, and give them time to kick their friends out and spray air freshener all over. (Yes, kids, we’re on to the the air freshener.)
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