Family Secrets Mom And Son

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Six family secrets. Six incredible stories
All families have secrets of one kind or another.
Woman’s Hour on BBC Radio 4 asked listeners for their experiences of family secrets. Lots of people got in touch.
But six shocking stories stood out.
Reporter Jo Morris met Ellen*, Christine, Jess*, Liz*, Moira and Prue to hear them reveal their family secrets.
When Ellen* (not her real name) was a teenager, she decided to tell her mother that she was gay. She was not expecting her response.
“I asked, ‘does anybody else know?’ and she said, ‘no, I will go to the grave with this and you're to tell nobody.’"
“I’d been living my gay life quite quietly away from the family home and I just got to the point where I needed to talk to my parents about my life. I didn’t think I could continue not being honest with them.
“We were just standing between the living room and the kitchen and Mum was busy cooking.
“I eventually just turned around and said ‘Mum, I’m gay’. I said, ‘you don’t know what it’s been like’. She just span round and said, ‘I think I do’.”
Ellen’s mum told her that she’d had a relationship with a woman, but that she had married Ellen’s father and had never told anybody.
“I then asked, ‘does anybody else know?’ and she said, ‘no, I will go to the grave with this and you are to tell nobody.’ The way she fixed her gaze on me, when she said that, I knew she was serious.
“She said that she’d had a relationship, quite a long standing relationship with a woman and that her parents had written her a letter saying that if there was any form of relationship going on, that they didn’t approve and that it wasn’t an appropriate way to live a life.”
Ellen kept her mum’s secret for nearly 20 years. Her mum has now died. She feels like she’s finally able to talk about it.
“I’ve been able to have a career, have a family, and still be gay. My mum was technically denied the one thing she wanted, which was to be with probably the woman she loved. Now whether that was a relationship that would have continued, for the rest of her life, I don’t know.
“If you look at a lot of oral history about gay people, it tends to still predominantly focus around men. There are hundreds of women who did exactly what my mum did all through history. And their story is yet to be written.”
Christine was in her seventies when she found out her family’s secret. And it was just by accident.
"Everyone knew except me. How didn’t I know for the whole of my life?”
“I grew up with my mum and dad, we lived in a flat. My parents were very secretive. We weren’t encouraged to speak to neighbours.
“I didn’t understand why but that’s how it was. It was only as I got older that I realised that not everybody was like that.”
Christine knew that her parents weren’t married and that the family had a difficult relationship with her mother’s sister, Jean.
“Nobody much liked her. Even her own mother didn’t like her very much.
“She had eight children by different men. My mum was her main support, financially. My mother looked after Jean her whole life.
“My mum and I used to go and visit her and take her stuff which she would then flog. We’d take clothes for the children, we’d take bed linen because the children would be sleeping on beds with no bed linen. We were always having to deal with her and get her out of scrapes and things.”
In 2016, Christine decided she wanted to see her full birth certificate as she’d only seen a shortened version. This gave her date of birth and that her grandmother registered her, but it didn’t say who her parents were. She sent off for the paperwork.
“Honestly, I don’t know what prompted me to do that. Nothing had happened.
“After I’d sent for [the full birth certificate] it suddenly came into my head, what could I possibly find out that could be really awful? And what I could possibly find out that would be really awful would be that Jean was my mother.
“When the birth certificate arrived, I opened it, not expecting to see anything like that, but there it was: Name of the mother, Jean Elsie Louise. Name of father, unknown.”
Christine’s birth mother was Jean, the woman she had known as her aunt.
“My mother’s whole family, they all knew. All her brothers knew. And my dad knew. Everyone knew except me. Even my dad’s sister knew evidently. How didn’t I know for the whole of my life?”
The secret has made Christine appreciate her mum who brought her up even more.
“As well as having loved my mum, I’m now very grateful to her, I don’t remember being grateful to her before.
“What is a mum? A mum is somebody who looks after their children, who loves them for their foibles, for their good bits, for their bad bits, and that’s who she was.”
What would you do if you discovered something that you thought could break up your whole family?
27-year-old Jess* (not her real name) got in touch to talk about the impact of a family secret she discovered when she was a teenager.
“At first I tried to not let it get to me, but that’s impossible. I kept just trying to push it to the back of my head, and then there’s a point when you just can’t do that anymore.”
“She was a mess. She begged us not to tell our dad, and she said she’d stop.”
At 14, Jess discovered that her mum was having an affair. She didn’t tell anyone for three years.
“I used to hang out with my mum a lot, go shopping, do girly things, and I just started to notice my mum acting differently.
“I got a suspicion that she was up to something by her facial expressions and the way she’d look at her phone when she was reading something. I’d never really seen her do that before.
“Me being suspicious and young, I obviously checked her phone. And I found out that my mum was having an affair.”
Jess didn’t tell her mum she knew, nor did she tell her two brothers or father.
“I didn’t tell my mum because I didn’t know what was the right thing to do.
“Just fear of losing my family completely, fear of family falling apart and not them being the way we’ve always been.”
After three years of keeping the secret of her mum’s affair, Jess decided she had to tell someone.
“It all just got too much for me. It was all I could think about. I couldn’t pretend any longer to my mum. My dad didn’t deserve it anymore, I had to get it out.”
She told her older brothers and they decided to tell their mum that they knew what she was hiding.
“She was a mess. She begged us not to tell our dad, and she said she’d stop.”
But a year later, Jess found out that the affair was still happening. She and her brothers told their father.
“The first thing he said was, ‘you’re lying, she would never do that.’ But he had to believe us because we had proof.
“My dad, God bless him, he would not leave her. He was like ‘she’s the love of my life and I will do whatever it takes to get her back’."
More than a decade later, Jess’ parents are still together and the family are in a happy place.
“I didn’t think that I could ever forgive my mum, but it’s your mum, you’ve got to forgive, you have to.
“If anyone has to go through anything like this and hold something in like that, never feel ashamed to say it out loud or worry what people think of you. Just try and understand your emotions.”
Liz* (not her real name) found out a family secret just after her father died. The revelation was so significant, it changed her feelings about her mother.
“Finding out that my parents had kept a secret from us for so long, that was the hardest thing.”
“I was angry. It was like it wasn’t a big thing, it was almost dropped in conversation."
After her father died in 2006, Liz’s brother was going through the probate form with their mother.
“He’d gone through all the routine questions, and there was a question: does the deceased have any other children? And she said, ‘yes he does’.
“He was obviously very taken aback and I believe he thought she didn’t understand first of all. He said it again and she said, ‘yes he does’.”
Liz’s dad had had an affair 50 years previously, which resulted in a daughter. Liz and her brothers had a half-sister.
“It was a big shock that there was a half-sister, but the main shock was the fact that we knew that they kept it secret from us for so long. That was the most upsetting thing.
“My mum thought we should be more upset about her and what she’d gone through, and not the fact that she hadn’t told us.
“I was angry. It was like it wasn’t a big thing, it was almost dropped in conversation. I don’t think she appreciated that.”
Liz and her brothers asked their mother why she hadn’t told them about their half-sister.
“She just said it wasn’t her secret to tell. She said it was a legal document and so she had to tell the truth.”
The revelation of the secret affected Liz’s relationship with her mum.
“It didn’t ruin our relationship but it definitely altered it. If she had said, ‘I’m sorry I probably should have told you, but I felt I shouldn’t, can you forgive me?’ then it might have been different.”
Liz’s mum lived for six years after their dad died. The half-sister was never mentioned again.
Liz and her brothers have never tried to make contact with their half-sister.
“We didn’t know what we might unearth, particularly when my mother was alive, and we don’t know what [the half-sister] had been told. We might potentially upset her a lot as well, because we don’t know what she has been told about her parenthood.
“But there is a possibility that someone could come knocking on the door one day.”
Moira always knew her mum was different, but her parents never explained why. It wasn’t until she was in her forties that doctors told her the reason.
“I think my mum’s illness happened pretty soon after I arrived.
"My father very nearly fell off his chair."
“I always knew that my mum took medication, had an injection, took tablets, that sort of thing.
"I was aware it was something I shouldn’t talk about. Without saying, ‘you must keep this a secret’, I knew that you must keep it a secret.
“I knew that my mum was not suffering from being a bit nervy, and I knew it was serious. Nobody ever referred to what it was.”
Moira’s parents never talked to her about her mother’s condition.
“It did not have a name until my mum’s psychiatrist, who was then actually looking after her for dementia in her seventies, referred to her historical diagnosis of schizophrenia. At which point it was out and my father very nearly fell off his chair.
“That was the first time that it was mentioned, and it had never been discussed before. And funnily enough it was never talked about afterwards. We didn’t talk about it even after the word had been uttered by the psychiatrist. By that stage, we had 40 years worth of not talking about it.
“I wish I had known what my mum went through. I wish I had a greater understanding of the illness, what it did to her.
“I knew she had delusions. At the time, I knew that it was a bit odd, and definitely not right.
“I think my mother would have liked to have talked about it, but my father was so adamant that we weren’t going to talk about it that she didn’t talk about it either.
“We’re much more open about it now, we’re probably not in the absolute best place, even now, but at least I feel I can talk openly and say my mum had schizophrenia.
“It’s an impressive ambition to try and keep it secret that somebody has got schizophrenia in the actual house where you are living.
“I think it must have been quite frightening for her actually, now that I do know a little bit more about it. I think things like having delusions, hearing voices and some of the treatment, like the electric shock treatment, was really quite brutal.
“Undoubtedly she was ill and had some awful times, but she made the most of her life.
“I find it really hard to wish that she was anything but what she was, because she was great.”
Prue was given a DNA kit as a present for her 70th birthday. She didn’t expect the shocking result it would reveal.
“It’s probably one of the biggest impacts anything has had on me in my life. Because it’s about my own identity, it’s about me and who I am.
"I have to know and I can’t rest until I know who he is."
“I have to know and I can’t rest until I know who he is. Who is my biological father?”
Prue’s nieces bought her a DNA kit for her 70th birthday. When she got the test results back, it revealed that her father was not her biological parent.
“To find that your whole life, part of it has been a lie and your identity is not what you thought it was is shocking.
“I feel betrayed, angry. I understand but I still feel angry. It makes me feel sad as well. I still have trouble believing that my dad isn’t my dad because we got on so well and we looked quite alike.
“My mum occasionally would say that my father thought that I was the daughter of a Canadian airman and I always thought that it was a post-war joke that everybody said to everybody.”
Prue is now trying to find out who her biological father was.
“It’s basically taken over my life. I sit in the same seat every day with my laptop on my lap, and I’m thinking and thinking and thinking and looking at family trees, looking up old newspaper cuttings, and it makes me feel better to be working on it. That’s my fix.
“I suppose deep down I’ve always felt like a cuckoo in the nest. I’ve always felt different, a feeling of aloneness, and sadness. Feeling that something was wrong with me.”
Prue has found out that during the war, her mother was in the Land Army in Northampton.
“I can’t work out… whether my mother conceived me in Northampton or Surrey and when my dad actually got back from the war.
“My dad wasn’t around a lot. He didn’t come back until about 11. He just ran away a lot. He was lovely but he was very irresponsible. He wasn’t up to the job of being a dad.
“Other people point out to me what damage he did as a father by not being there, how terrible it was for my mum, and I should really be very angry with him but I can’t.
“I know intellectually he was an awful father, but from an emotional point of view, I just loved him.
“I don’t blame my mum at all, I feel sorry for her. It must have been a terrible shock, awful to live with. If I was her age, I would have probably have done the same.
“I nursed my mum when she was ill for a long time, and she had plenty of time to tell me, but she didn’t.”
This article is based on the Family Secrets series that has been airing on Woman's Hour over the past few weeks. More Woman's Hour content can be found here. The reporter on the series was Jo Morris.

By Carly Stern For Dailymail.com 22:03 BST 17 Mar 2021 , updated 00:18 BST 18 Mar 2021
People are opening up about their long-held family secrets, revealing the surprising things they learned about relatives — and themselves — when they got older.
Reddit user u/Flash_Dimension kicked off the tell-all thread, asking other users: 'Once you were old enough, what were the dark family secrets you were finally let in on?'
The question has earned thousands of replies, with some sharing stories of innocent family fibs that went on way too long, long-lost relatives, and shocking family crimes.
A few of the stories have been pretty innocent, including one who learned the truth about her grandmother's very special recipe.
'Grandma’s top secret pie crust was actually just Marie Calender’s from the grocery store, set in a fancier dish,' the Redditor wrote. 'She messed with her daughters-in-law for years over it.'
Another shared how her mother went to great lengths to make her feel loved despite her dad not being in the picture.
'My dad used to send me birthday cards every year when I was a young girl ... even though I never got to meet him when I was young, I was glad to still receive a card from him with a few bucks acknowledging I was alive and that he did one day want to see me,' she said.
But in her mid-teens, she learned that her mother had actually written every single one of those cards.
'My grandfather would mail it to ourselves to make it seem legit. I never ever actually received any letter from him,' she said.
Most family secrets, though, involved people being in big trouble. 
'Gramma didn’t decide to move in with us because she loved us so much and wanted to spend more time with us,' one person said. 
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'Gramma moved in because her son was a meth addict and convinced her to put his name on the house, take all the money out of it “for renovations,” and leave her homeless. She had a heart attack the night she found out and now has to live with a pacemaker.'
Another said they though their cousin lived with them for fun — but it was really because the cousin's mother had problems. 
'I learned later that it was because child protective services took my cousins away from their mom because of mental health issues. My mom offered to take her sister's kids until she got her mental health back in order,' they wrote. 
One found out that his dad was a philanderer — and had other children. 
'I got a Facebook message from one guy asking if I was related to my dad, since it's not a common last name,' they wrote. 
'I thought he was a fan of his work, because I was in college at the time and the guy was about the same age as me — that's how I found out my dad slept around and that I had a half brother the same age as me.' 
Some of the stories were incredibly dark, including instance of rape, incest, and even murder. 
'To put it shortly — my family tree, is more like a very long branch. Yes we have the genetic defects to prove it,' wrote one.
Woman discovers her father is not her biological dad after DNA test
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Another revealed themselves to be the product of statutory rape.
'My father got my mother pregnant when he was her teacher in high school,' the said. 'He was thirty and married. She was fifteen and his student. They ran off together, he got a divorce, and they got married in a state that allowed marriage at 16, two months before my older brother was born.'
One from Western Australia said their grandfather killed his own youngest bro
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Family Secrets Mom And Son