Family Nudity Story
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Family Nudity Story
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A teenage girl has appealed to the internet for help, as she questions her dad’s insane rules about her nudity in their family home.
Over the years, it’s become obvious to Lily* that her father doesn’t seem to respect her privacy at all.
For starters, he usually doesn’t knock when he wants to come into her room and so has walked in when she’s changing several times to ask a question.
The father-of-two also comes into the bathroom at least once a month while his 18-year-old daughter is showering.
“It’s a sliding glass door with no shower curtain so he sees me naked,” Lily wrote on Reddit .
“I told him I’m not comfortable with him seeing me naked.
“I lock the door while showering now. He called me a prude for not letting him in today while I was showering.”
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When Lily questioned her dad about why he felt the need to walk into the room while she was naked, he tried to justify his actions.
As Lily listened in complete shock, her dad outlined the following four reasons why his behaviour was OK:
After that Lily was lost for words, unsure exactly how she should respond – so she turned to Reddit for some advice.
Overall, nearly 500 Redditors came to Lily’s aid, reassuring her that she had done nothing wrong and that her dad had definitely crossed the line.
“I’m a huge advocate for normalising many things in families such as kissing or hugging but this is too far because you didn’t consent and it’s creepy your dad is upset,” one concerned person said.
There were also several dads who chimed into the discussion, sharing how they have approached the nudity issue with their own daughters.
One father, with one and three-year-old girls, said that he planned to stop bathing around five years old.
Another said he would be waiting until his daughters told him they were “uncomfortable” – which is something he’s already spoken to them about.
“As soon as that happens then I’ll stop. It’s totally creepy to push your kids to let you see them naked when they’ve expressed discomfort,” he added.
This article originally appeared on Kidspot and was reproduced here with permission
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She's not ready to bare it all on trip to visit nudist's family
She's not ready to bare it all on trip to visit nudist's family
Kathy Mitchell and Marcy sugar
| Standard-Times
Dear Annie: I am deeply involved with a wonderful man. I was charmed by the fact that "Arnie" remained undressed until it was time to leave the house. I soon joined him and enjoyed eating breakfast in the buff.
Arnie is Dutch and was raised in a house where nudity was the norm. His parents and siblings all slept in the nude, soaked in the family hot tub together and visited nude beaches.
We are planning a trip to Europe to do some touring and visit Arnie's family. It will include nude hot-tubbing and beaches. Arnie assures me I can wear a bathing suit, but I will be self-conscious if I'm the only clothed person. But I'm not sure I'm ready to be naked in a group.
Also, we'd both like to have children, but he wants to raise them as he was raised and I am not so sure. Nudity didn't harm Arnie, but is it OK for the kids? Arnie can't understand why Americans are so hung up about this. He believes nudity is healthier, more comfortable and leads to higher self-esteem.
Should I do as the Europeans do when we visit his family? Should we raise our children to be nudists? Should I break it off because I am uncomfortable?
Dear Chevy Chase: This is a very personal choice. When it comes to raising children, it generally is best to be able to cover up when necessary by keeping robes handy. It becomes a bigger issue when the kids have friends over or when they reach puberty and are uncomfortably aware of their parents' bodies. But take one thing at a time. For your upcoming visit, try the "when in Rome" approach and see how you feel about it. Bring a swimsuit just in case.
Dear Annie: My wife and I are expecting our first child, a boy, and she would like to name him after me (for which I am truly honored).
However, we both abhor the idea of "Jr." Is it proper to use the Roman numeral "II" instead? I know strict etiquette demands it be used only for a child who bears the name of a family member other than the father (i.e., grandfather), but I've been told it is more socially acceptable now. What do you say?
— Happy Father-to-Be in Sunny Florida
Dear Happy Father-to-Be: It still isn't exactly cricket to use a "2" in any form if your child is named after you, although what is acceptable to you and your wife is what matters, and frankly, most people won't notice or care. Of course, the baby only becomes "Junior" if he has your first, middle and last names. If you change his middle name, he no longer uses any suffix at all.
Dear Annie: Since there has been discussion in your column about bipolar illness, I would like to share what I have learned, being bipolar all my life.
I've been married five times, tried to kill myself five times and had to file for bankruptcy about 10 years ago. When I was on highs, I would buy things and have inappropriate relationships with men. I went through countless jobs because I quit or did unprofessional things. I had no impulse control. I refused to take medication because the side effects were hair loss, shaky hands and weight gain.
Luckily, after my fourth visit to a psychiatric ward, I got serious about my life. I found a wonderful psychiatrist, and now I take the correct medication.
I want to tell other bipolar people to try again on the medication. There are new ones all the time.
I feel like a different person, without all the anxiety and highs and lows. And I know I need to take the medication for the rest of my life. And that is OK.
Dear Brighter Now: Congratulations on being motivated enough to get help, and bless you for encouraging others.
Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.
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One of my goals as a mother has been to teach my children to be comfortable with their bodies. It was easy when they were little. They saw no need to lock bathroom doors or hide while they were changing. Clothes were nothing more than an obstacle to their play that they would seize any opportunity to slip out of. And I let them.
Whether we were in the house, in the backyard, or even the park, my kids were the ones running about with no shoes, no shirts, and no sermons (from me). My approval didn’t stop other parents from shaking their heads or clucking their tongues, but their contempt was not noticed by my children or internalized by me. As long as my kids were within my eyesight and were wearing some sort of bottom covering, we were doing just fine.
Things changed as they got older. By the time my boys were 8 and 6, they were locking bathroom doors and making sure to always wear shirts, even in the backyard. And I let them. Because, although it saddened me a bit to see how quickly societal norms had squelched their free spirits, ultimately what I wanted them to learn was that they were in charge of their bodies. And if, for whatever reason, they wanted to keep them completely covered, that was their choice, too.
Then my daughter came along. Like her brothers before her, she was happiest when she was barefooted and naked-bellied. Unlike them, however, she didn’t outgrow it… at least not yet. She will be 7 next week and I still have to remind her that she NEEDS to wear a shirt for school. Her favorite thing is to roll around in the grass with nothing more than underwear—which she wears begrudgingly. She says the world feels more real when she can feel it with all of her skin and that being naked(ish) is like being a “wild, free fairy.”
And so I let her. Certainly she needs to wear clothes at school and when we’re out in the world, but at home, in our backyard, she is free to dress in a way that makes her feel comfortable.
The problem is that her comfort has been making my 10-year-old son uncomfortable. Yesterday my daughter came downstairs in her underwear and sat down to eat breakfast. My son’s eyes narrowed and his shoulders tensed up.
“Make her put clothes on, Mom. She’s too old. It’s gross! I can’t eat with her next to me like that.”
I told him that he could sit somewhere else if he wanted to and tried to change the subject to something less contentious. As my daughter and I chatted about an upcoming trip, I noticed that my son had grown quiet. His eyes glistened with the tears he was trying desperately to hold back. I came closer and put my hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it away.
“She’s too old to be naked all the time. It makes me uncomfortable. Please make her get dressed.”
My daughter’s fiery temper immediately kicked in. “I can dress however I want! It’s my body!”
He was sad and she was angry and I was unsure as to how to handle the situation. I let him take his bagel into the living room while I thought it through some more.
The thing is, I want my son to feel good at home. He’s a shy, sensitive kid and he really values having a place where he can be comfortable. Part of me wanted to just insist that my daughter start wearing clothes outside of her bedroom. But then I thought about what it’s like to be a teenage girl, and a young woman… and even a middle-aged one. About how we are hit with a constant barrage of expectations and judgments about how we should look and talk and dress.
Yes, my son was uncomfortable with how his sister was dressed, and yes, his discomfort makes me sad, but he won’t be the last man to feel that way. One day, there will be an older man on a train who believes her shirt is too revealing, a boyfriend who thinks her dress is too frumpy, and a predator who finds her jeans too tempting. People will recoil from the fire in her eyes and the knots in her hair and the passion in her voice. They will move away from her loud laughter and quick tears and sporadic leaps of joy.
And that will be their choice. Just as it was my son’s choice to eat breakfast in the other room. But if I start telling my daughter now that her brother has the right to choose what clothes she wears, what will be the next right that she relinquishes to an uncomfortable male?
I had a long talk with my son after breakfast. We talked about how sometimes I let him wear shorts on days that I’m wearing a down coat because it’s his body and he experiences things differently than I do. I told him that it’s important to respect other people’s clothing choices, even if he doesn’t always understand them. I reminded him about the time he saw me being cat-called by a man using vulgar words and how badly that made me feel.
“It’s not the same, Mom. That guy liked that you were wearing a short skirt. I hate when my sister doesn’t wear enough clothes.”
He’s right. It’s not the same. And yet, on some level, it is. They’re both judgments made on a female’s choice of clothes. Once girls begin to internalize those voices, they often lose their own.
My daughter will continue to dress in her underwear for breakfast if she feels like it. And no one will say a damn thing about it. Because I won’t let them.
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