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Posted Tue, Sep 7, 2021 at 7:30 pm PT
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This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.
Most boys and teenage boys have grown up hearing a stereotype about what it takes “to be a man.” While many teenage boys may not agree with the stereotype, they are afraid to deviate from it because they don’t want to be labeled as “gay.” According to the research, this stereotype typically leads boys to becoming sexually active in middle school. Again this is based on current research data. Additionally it shows that boys also tend to feel a sense of isolation due to the stereotype. The stereotype makes teenage boys believe they should be prepared to handle life like a grown man. However, they are not fully mature nor are they prepared to handle everything on the own. However, due to the stereotype they feel they cannot ask for help or share their concerns with their friends. Hence they feel isolated, alone and like failures at the age of 16 years old.
This article is going to discuss the epidemic of addiction to porn that many teenage boys and men are dealing with today. In our society sex is a tabooed subject. It is unusual if anyone sits down with a teenage boy and discusses sex. They typically learn about sex by talking to friends, having sex or the most common way watching pornography. However, no one discusses how to treat a sexual partner, diseases you can catch and the importance of mutual consent. Most importantly no one discusses with boys to think about are they emotionally and financially ready to be a father. Any time a boy has sex, he can get a girl pregnant. Even if they were using birth control. There is no method that is 100% safe.
Many parents may feel this issue doesn’t apply to their son. However, with the internet being available on laptops, game centers and phones most people stumble on to pornography by accident and very easily. Look online for yourself. It is very easy to access pornography in today’s world. Most research studies indicate that most boys have been exposed to pornography between the ages of 8 years old and 10 years old. Their young minds are not prepared to process what they are seeing nor are they prepared for the feeling they experience and how their bodies respond to what they are seeing. They continue to watch and to go back to the sites over and over and many become addicted. Even though pornography addiction is not a formal psychiatric diagnosis yet, most research studies have concluded that the number of teenage boys visiting porn sites at least once a day has reached epidemic rates. Some teenage boys have self reported going to porn sites five to 10 times a day. Therefore, while the DSM V does not list porn addiction as a formal diagnosis, many researchers and clinicians believe that people especially teenage boys can become addicted to pornography.
This is an issue parents do need to pay attention to during the pandemic. Teenagers are having to spend more time at home and cannot see their friends like they are use to. Therefore, many teen boys are reporting being bored and some report being slightly depressed. Since they are spending more time in their bedrooms and have easy access to pornography via their phones or laptop, there is a temptation to look at pornography to help with being bored. This simple distraction can easily turn into an addiction during the pandemic. They are isolated and have no idea when the pandemic will end. Pornography therefore becomes an easy escape and habit before they know it.
Additionally, with the current confusion regarding the Delta variant and the number of people being diagnosed with the Coronavirus increasing significantly and hospitals running out of beds for adults and teenagers, the stress teenagers are feeling regarding the Coronavirus is increasing. Before teenagers were being told the virus mainly effects older adults. Now they are hearing the delta variant is impacting teenagers. In addition to the Coronavirus, we have been dealing with hurricanes and fires through out the the Country. As a result teenage boys are feeling stressed and they have learned that pornography can decrease their stress. Therefore, they are using pornography to help them cope with their current stressors.
Lisa Ling did an episode about porn addiction in her series This is Life. I have included the YouTube link here to the episode. YouTube does charge $1.99 to watch the episode but if you have teenage boys it is well worth the cost. She was able to talk to men in their thirties, homosexual men and an 18 year old high school senior who openly discussed their struggles with pornography and masturbation. They all explain how easy it was to become addicted but how difficult it is to stop. Some men had been trying for years to stop using pornography and still can’t succeed. Here is the link https://youtu.be/UqoCg9Srs18 .
Additionally, these men and teenager discussed how pornography has negatively impacted their lives. Besides the guilt and shame they felt about their addiction, they reported difficulties with obtaining and maintaining an erection. Many also reported a decreased interest in having sex. They no longer felt interested in women sexually. They stated they were sexually interested in pornography only. One man stated the only way he could have sex with a woman was to fantasy about porn. Many of you may think these issues primarily pertained to the men in their thirties or 40s. Well these issues impacted the entire group even the 18 year old high school senior. The 18 year old high school senior reported he was only able to get an erection if he was watching pornography. He also stated he no longer was finding girls his age sexually attractive. He stated he found he was more attracted to pornography and despite his desire to stop he was not able to stop watching pornography. I have heard many teenagers and men make the same statements in sessions so it is reality.
Overall most of the men reported feeling isolated and lonely due to pornography. They felt embarrassed to tell their families or to seek help. Even if they wanted help, they did not know where to go to get help. The man who arranged this group that Lisa interviewed started a website NoFab. It is an online support group helping men over come their addiction to pornography and masturbation. When I say men, most guys on the site are between 18 and 24 years old. This site found that teens between the ages of 13 and 16 are at the greatest risk for becoming addicted to pornography. Most likely because at that age a boys hormones are out of control and they have little to no sexual experience. So unfortunately what they learn about sex comes from pornography a fantasy world.
This subject also pertains to teenage boys during the quarantine. How many teenage boys are spending more time in their bedrooms on their laptops and smartphones. How many were bored of being in the house and looking for something new. Well pornography is new and can eliminate being bored. We have no idea how many teenage boys may be starting their pornography addiction during the quarantine.
Father’s if you noticed changes in your teenage son in the past and you think it may be related to pornography or if he is spending a lot more time in his room since the quarantine then talk to him about pornography. However, do so calmly and gently. Remember how you felt at his age and if the subject of sex came up. You don’t want to embarrass him or make him feel his sexual feeling are wrong or perverted. Explain that pornography is a fantasy and not reality. It is adult entertainment not entertainment for teenagers. Also explain how it can give a boy the wrong idea about how to treat a woman or what she really wants. Basically, do not be afraid to have an open, frank discussion about sex and pornography. Also don’t be afraid to ask if they feel they are having problems with pornography. Reassure them if they are, you will not get mad and you will help them find help for the issue. Remember don’t shame them. Be there as their father to eliminate the lonely, isolated feeling and help them on the road to recovery. Also tell them how proud you are that they were brave enough to speak up and ask for help.
If your teenager needs help look for a psychotherapist who specializes in teenagers, addiction issues and sexual issues. Pornography addiction is not like being an alcoholic. A person can stop drinking alcohol, however, they cannot stop having sexual feelings. Sexual feelings are part of being human so they have to learn a new way to relate to their sexual feelings.
Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information about his work and private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple or Audible.
The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch? Register for a user account.




Author & Photographer:

Liza Van der Stock ,














The house where Maurice, Laura and Eva live. They live upstairs and downstairs porn movies are shot and erotic parties take place.











Maurice, Laura and Eva in the morning getting ready for school and work.











Laura and Eva going to the supermarket.











Eva and her friend Roosje at the riding school.

2018 Primetime Emmy

& James Beard Award Winner

Photographer Liza Van Der Stock’s intimate project about a porn-producing family in Flanders was shortlisted for the 2015 Sony World Photography Awards.
In a Flemish village outside of Turnhout, Belgium, Laura and Maurice live together with their daughter Eva. They have all the trappings of a normal family, but when 9-year-old Eva is at school, Maurice and Laura start their day jobs as porn producers.
I photographed the family for two years for my project called Paradi$e Lu$t. They’ve given me unfettered access to both their personal and professional lives. The duo, more than anything, are small business owners: together they started a production company called “Stout!” around a decade ago. It’s still a modest operation: they produce the movies and both work the camera. And, from time to time, they are the porn stars as well.
Like Maurice and Laura, their other actors are ordinary people. They’re fathers and neighbors. Salesmen and postmen. The sex and the bodies are very real, not fake, not glamorous.
Maurice and Laura used to live above an erotic club they owned and filmed in, but they moved out to the quieter village once Eva got a little older. The most interesting thing about the village life was the process of gaining their new community’s acceptance. When Eva was new in her school there were some children who couldn’t play with her because their parents didn’t allow it. Laura really wanted everybody to accept them, so she threw a very big party for Eva’s birthday. She cleaned the house for two days and made it totally sex-free. She invited everybody from the school, also the parents. People came to realize that they are just normal people and since then she organizes the party each year.
Maurice and Laura are always very honest with Eva. They don’t want to lie to her. But of course they informed her about their job in words she can understand. She knows that they had a bar where naked people came to have a drink and to dance. Eva has a really good relationship with her parents and their job has never been an obstacle. And in my time with them, I saw a warm family with a very normal life that really separated their work life from their personal life. A moment I remember very well was when Eva received her first communion in church. Laura was very involved in the ceremony and afterwards there was a party in their new café. Friends and family came along and it was a very good day. In the porn Laura and Maurice make, actors are captured on tape as they are. My project aims to portray the family with that same humanity.
See more of Van der Stock’s work at www.lizavanderstock.com .
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The Boys on Amazon: Full frontal nudity and bizarre sex scenes shock viewers
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Trailer for new superhero drama 'The Boys'
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The Boys is now out on Amazon and it has left viewers both shaken and stirred
The Boys have arrived on our screens and they've shocked some viewers.
New Amazon Prime Video series The Boys, based on the graphic novels of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, follows a group of vigilantes intent on bringing down the corrupt superhero team known as The Seven.
Karl Urban stars as the leader of the Boys known as Billy Butcher who takes a vengeful but traumatised Hughie Campbell (Jack Quaid) under is wing to fight the superheros, including leader Homelander (Antony Starr) and The Deep ( Chace Crawford ).
Some viewers found the graphic scenes including full-frontal nudity and bizarre sexually explicit scenes a bit too much, while others were just surprised.
Taking to Twitter , audience members shared their views on the superhero show.
One wrote: "With 'The Boys' coming out I'd like to share that it's meant to be absolutely over the top with graphic sexual content and nudity. All of it paints the right picture for the world it depicts. If you're never disgusted then the show missed it's mark. #TheBoys "
Another tweeted: "Started “The Boys” on Amazon...this show is so brutal. And I just finished episode 1 So much male frontal nudity too"
They added: "Yeah I was in shock a little bit after the first violent encounter but it’s not so bad"
An impressed fan wrote: "If you want a super hero show with a bunch of nudity sex and language... watch ‘the boys’"
Another said: "Watching The Boys on Amazon Prime . Nudity, graphic violence , adult themes. And Carl Urban . I like it"
They also wrote: "And hot dayum Carl Urban has got one fine a**!"
However, one complained that the scenes were unnecessary: "I really wanted to like @amazon The Boys but damn is there any f**king show that isn’t full of nudity, sex? Don’t call me a prude because I’m not but jeez the premise is so good. It doesn’t need this s**t."
The Boys season 1 is available now on Amazon Prime Video.
Are you enjoying The Boys on Amazon? Let us know in the comments belo
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