Facial Ejaculation
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Facial Ejaculation
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Almara Abgarian Wednesday 28 Mar 2018 5:00 am
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I’ve never been a big fan of the sperm facial.
A few years ago, an ex-boyfriend of mine wanted to try it, and as the open-minded woman that I am, I decided to give it a go.
It wasn’t great. In fact, I was pretty upset afterwards because I felt humiliated.
Also, once you’ve experienced having your eye swollen shut because you accidentally got semen in it, you become a bit hesitant about letting a man ejaculate on your face ever again.
Even if it is supposedly good for your skin .
According to recent Google Trends, Canada and Australia like facials more than we do in the UK.
Oddly, we also seem to prefer an early morning facial, with high search spikes for the phrase between 4am and 5am on Google this past week.
There are plenty of men and women – straight, gay, bi, trans and more – who love sperm facials and my curious mind wanted to find out the reasons why.
I really get off on giving oral sex, so it’s kind of like a sign of a job well done.
Sometimes, I worry that my liking it when a guy comes on my face makes me a bad feminist, but after the act is done, my partner gently wipes my face and thanks me.
It’s actually a nice and intimate moment.
Plus, guys tend to always appreciate it.
I love how you can see the girl’s eyes looking right at you, as you come all over her face. It’s the ultimate sort of ownership.
It’s a pretty good way to show dominance. You have to be physically above the person you’re ejaculating on, which is a nice feeling.
But, it’s key that she likes it too, otherwise it’s demeaning.
There are several things that I like about facials.
There’s the sense of submitting yourself to your partner and the fact that your partner is so excited that they can’t control themselves.
Also, the sensation itself is primal and unique. Almost like running through a thunderstorm.
Facials are a real turn-on. It’s highly erotic and naughty, and feels empowering. There’s something really hot about sperm on the face or a girl swallowing.
I love a facial, either from a man or a woman. It’s that intense build-up, the anticipation of what’s about to come. And then, the force of the release with my face taking the full impact.
The feeling of being a naughty boy.
I like facials because I love the dominance my master has over me, it’s like he’s marking his territory.
In my opinion, it also feels really good and it fits in well with the humiliation element.
Personally, I think men just like the idea that women really want our sperm. And that they love it so much that they want it all over their face.
We also like to see ourselves cum, it’s hot to see it go everywhere.
You look down at the girl, and see her looking back, smiling, mouth open or pouting – whatever she prefers. And it’s sexy, because I know that she wants it, too.
When a sub is giving you oral sex, she wants a reward or a climax.
I’m not sure I’d say I like it, but my boyfriend and I have tried it.
We were on holiday and tried the facial in the afternoon.
It was a disaster; I got it in my eyes and had to spend the whole night explaining that I wasn’t upset, I just had sperm in my eyes.
Once, I rubbed my sperm over a woman’s face, just before she had to go and take her new passport picture.
It was actually part of a cuckolding scenario, because her husband knew that the ‘shine’ on her passport was my doing. A turn-on for all involved.
It’s do to with humiliation. That’s why I don’t ejaculate on her face if we’re in a serious relationship.
It’s about mental domination, giving a girl or a guy a facial puts you in the dominant position.
Facials are also an alternative for people who don’t like the taste of sperm.
There are two reasons I like facials.
I’m straight, but the humiliation aspect of a mistress making another man cum in my face sends me deeper into submission.
From a dominant perspective, it’s the control and submission that you receive which makes it a turn-on.
It’s about a woman giving herself up to you, knowing you’re about to come, but still stays in place.
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I enjoy the power trip, it’s kind of like you’re making your own Picasso.
Of course, it’s important that the girl enjoys it, too.
I’m straight but I love to ejaculate on a guy’s face.
Maybe it’s because men are a lot better at giving oral sex. Other men also know how to appreciate a cock better than women, plus they feel humiliated when they can’t compete with my cock.
It’s not generally a kink of mine, but as long as it’s just a facial and I can keep my mouth closed, I don’t mind.
Although, I tend to lean more on the gay side, so that probably has something to do with it.
If you’re curious about the history of sperm facials, you can also have a read here .
If you liked this story you should give our new sex podcast Good Sex Bad Sex a listen – it’s out every Wednesday.
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"Facials are degrading — and that's why they're so hot." So says America's leading sex columnist Dan Savage about the act of ejaculating semen on to someone's face. But the appeal of the facial can't be summed up with that single term. Rather, this act that's become the standard coda in porn is about much more than the longing to dominate or humiliate a sex partner. Understanding what makes it such a ubiquitous trope in adult movies (and in people's private sexual lives) means understanding a particularly male longing for acceptance.
Anti-pornography activists like Gail Dines and Robert Jensen agree with at least Savage's first three words; in recent works, both have cited the growing popularity of the "facial" as proof of the misogyny of mainstream pornography. On the other end of the ideological spectrum, sex-positive feminist Clarisse Thorn wrote for Jezebel in May that "facials feel really degrading to me." Despite their divergent politics, Savage, Dines, Jensen and Thorn all use the same word — "degrading" –- for facials, providing a strikingly rare example of consensus in contemporary sex writing.
The facial has a relatively recent history. In an interview, sex educator Charlie Glickman told me that early stag movies never showed ejaculation; if men ejaculated at all, they did so inside women's bodies. (It's remarkable that the porn that still features ejaculation in the vagina is now a relatively small niche known as "creampie.") That changed in the 1970s, when porn movies became longer, scripted features with bigger budgets. Since there would be more than one sex romp in the film, external ejaculation was the mark that a specific scene had ended. Porn historian Linda Williams compares this to the way that songs were spaced out in Hollywood musicals, with kitschy dialogue in between the showcase numbers that were the centerpieces of the films. But in the ‘70s and ‘80s, most of these ejaculations were onto backs, butts, or breasts — hardly ever onto faces.
Glickman suggests that the AIDS crisis and the concern with safer sex was what made the facial popular. "Cum on me, not in me" was a popular sex educator slogan as far back as the late 1980s. Ejaculating on a woman's stomach, however, usually meant that the camera wouldn't let the audience see the actress' expression. But if the male actor came on her face, the viewer could see two things at once: evidence of male pleasure (symbolized by the ejaculation) and the equally important sign that a woman's reaction to that pleasure mattered. With sex now so dangerous — and HIV particularly likely to be spread through semen — facials were relatively "safe." But in the era of AIDS, they were also compelling visual evidence that a woman wasn't threatened by a man's semen. In that sense facials were, almost from the start, more about women's acceptance of men's bodies than about women's degradation.
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The sheer amount of porn featuring facial cumshots is so vast that it's impossible to imagine an exhaustive analysis of all of it. But two things seem clear. First, as Megan Andelloux (founder and director of Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health ) noted in an interview with me, questions from college students about facials have risen dramatically in recent years. This isn't something people are just watching porn stars do; it's something a lot of young men (and some young women) want to try themselves. Second, as Glickman — a former adult film reviewer —pointed out, a lot more straight porn features women happily accepting facials than reacting with disgust and evident humiliation. That acceptance may be feigned, but it suggests that the primary turn-on about facials for men isn't the desire to degrade women. (Glickman further suggested that the fact that facials are also so common in gay male pornography – where the sexual politics are radically different – argues against the assumption that coming on someone's face is rooted in men's misogyny.)
A few years ago, in a humanities course on the body, my class was discussing one of the most famous selections from the now-iconic Vagina Monologues , "Because He Liked to Look at It". The monologue tells the story of a woman who thought her vagina was "incredibly ugly" until she meets a man named Bob, who loves to stare at —and taste — her vulva with delight and wonder. Bob's embrace of her body is the key to her self-acceptance. During our discussion of the monologue, a male student noted bravely that he thought many men felt the same way about their penises. Perhaps, he suggested, the intense appeal of facials in porn (and real life) was about men's desire for that same experience of being validated as desirable, as good, as "not dirty." For a young man raised with the sense that his body – and especially his penis – is "disgusting", a woman's willingness to accept a facial is an intensely powerful source of affirmation.
In my conversations with Glickman and Andelloux, I shared this anecdote. Both agreed that rather than seeing the facial as rooted in the impulse to denigrate, it might indeed be better to view it as longing for approval. Andelloux pointed out that in her experience, many women (often with good reason) have a difficult time believing that degradation isn't at the root of straight men's fascination with facials. In any case, humiliation and affirmation aren't incompatible reactions to the same act; a feeling of indignity when your partner ejaculates on your face isn't contingent on his intending to demean you. No one should be obligated to endure humiliation for the sake of someone else's longing for validation.
At the same time (as perhaps with anal sex), many people struggle to believe that receiving a facial is something a woman could enjoy. Andelloux told me a story about a seminar she ran recently on a college campus during which a young woman shared that she experienced her first orgasm when her boyfriend came on her face. "Nothing else that was said that day shocked the audience so much. I could tell a lot of people didn't believe her. But I did." Andelloux remarked that some other women reacted with hostility, "as if by admitting a liking for facials, she was committing an act of violence against other women." In the era of porn wars, perhaps not even anal sex is as politicized as the question of where the ejaculate lands.
That classroom discussion about facials and the Vagina Monologues had an unforgettable finish. A female student turned to the guy who'd brought up the topic of semen and validation and asked him, "So you're saying that when a man comes on a woman's face, it's not about making her dirty — it's about making him feel clean?" The young man blushed, the class tittered. "Yes," he said, "that's it. And that's what makes it so hot."
Hugo Schwyzer is a professor of gender studies and history at Pasadena City College and a nationally-known speaker on sex, relationships, and masculinity. You can see more of his work at his eponymous site .
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I received this anonymous question last night through our Have A Question page. I have more than have been there longer, and I intend to answer them, but today I don’t have much time, so I picked it because I thought it would be short. Plus,
I received this anonymous question last night through our Have A Question page. I have more than have been there longer, and I intend to answer them, but today I don’t have much time, so I picked it because I thought it would be short. Plus, I get this question a lot, in various forms. People ask if they can ejaculate on their wife’s stomach, legs, butt, breasts, or face. I don’t think the location matters, with a caveat I’ll share below. So, here’s the question:
Is it alright to ejaculate on my wife? Kind of a tough one to find a verse on.
Yeah, there are no verses on this topic, what-so-ever.
Now, some may argue (I think errently), that Genesis 38:9-10 , regarding Onan applies:
But Onan knew that the heir would not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in to his brother’s wife, that he emitted on the ground, lest he should give an heir to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the Lord ; therefore He killed him also. – Genesis 38:9-10
However, this is deal with Onan running from his responsibility to provide an heir for his brother’s line, not because he “pulled out”. So, I’m going to disregard that verse in reference to this question, and suggest you do the same.
Myself, I see nothing wrong with ejaculating on your wife. In fact, it can be beneficial in some circumstances.
For those who are recovering from a porn/masturbation addiction, I often suggest this simple rule:
And some of my coaching clients have gone “eww…” at the thought, but it works. In short, the husband is not allowed to ejaculate anywhere except in, or on, his wife. Why? Because it removes the ability to orgasm alone and so it removes the ability for the husband to have a sexual life apart from his wife. But, it still allows for mutual masturbation , and that can be very helpful for many husbands who are struggling to remove themselves from porn. Sometimes husbands find they can’t have sex any more because they’re so used to porn. Their brain doesn’t associate their wife with enough sexual stimulation to get erect, let alone orgasm, and so mutual masturbation forms a bridge to retrain the husband to have a sexual relationship with his wife again, and ejaculating on his wife further helps that connection. It insures there are very close when he orgasms, which helps when oxytocin is released and imprints that connection in his mind.
Many couples choose to refrain from sex during “that time of the month”. But, that doesn’t mean have to refrain from all sexual activity. Again, you can use mutual masturbation to stay connected, and well, that’s more fun when you’re closer together, and worrying about where you can ejaculate would put a damper on things.
While the stereotype is that men only take a few short minutes to orgasm, the truth is that some take considerably longer. And while there may be some wives thinking “that would be amazing!” It’s less amazing if they struggle from delayed ejaculation . Especially when they run out of energy before they can reach the point of orgasm.
Then, the decision becomes again, mutual masturbation, or give up.
If the wife has a gynecologist appointment in the morning, but you still want to have sex…she may prefer you ejaculate on her instead of in her. Do I need to explain that one?
And there may be more. Some wives like being able to feel it, and not all can feel ejaculation internally. Some like to see it (yes, some women are visual as well). Some just don’t want to walk around all day feeling like they’re “leaking”. So, there are lot of times where ejaculating on your wife may be beneficial.
So far as I know, provided you have no STDs (or STIs as they’re now called), then there are no reasons I can think of, medically, biblically, spiritually or relationally where this could be harmful. With one exception:
If your wife finds it degrading or gross, don’t do it. It doesn’t matter if it’s irrational, it doesn’t matter if there’s nothing morally wrong with it. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s erotic. You will damage your relationship, and that’s not worth it. If you are that wife, I’d suggest exploring why you feel that way, because it’s likely limiting your sexual enjoyment to have this mindset, but husbands: don’t push your wife into
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